This morning I had a story flooding my mind. I loved writing the story because I felt like I had literally jumped into that world. The story had rainbows involved, ironically the sky filled with rainbows (technically circumhorizontal arc) today. It was bright and sunny, not a raincloud in the sky. It seemed as though the very story I had written came to life for me. I did not tell the kids about the story, but they shared in the excitement of the rainbows in the sky. What made it even more amusing was that the rainbow would go and then show up again, smaller and in different parts of the sky. We saw them at my mom’s house and by the time we left they were gone.
When we arrived home there was a small rainbow right above our house.
Ariel said: “Mom! The rainbow followed you, but a rainbow can’t follow you. A rainbow stays in one place, but it came back to you.” I love that girl! (I know that is silly to say, of course I love her) She says some of the best things. There were other things that happened too, like I wrote a poem that said: “I forgot how to smell the roses, maybe they didn’t really bloom.” with a picture that had roses in it, I almost never speak of roses. When I arrived at my mom’s house she said: “Hey, look at my roses! They all bloomed.” I went outside and smelled the roses. The moon has been peering and peaking in my windows all night and all morning this week. And the ocean had a world of words for me the other day. There were other things like specific words, or numbers that kept popping up. All of them mean something to me and help subdue my doubts or anxiety.
I share all of this because I have been doubtful and feeling anxiety creep up on me.
Whenever that happens things like what I shared happen. They have always happened, but there have been pivotal times in my life where I am required to hold on to patience and keep hope alive and I SO want to give up. David says it’s like being in Alice in Wonderland, he feels as if it is “David in Angel’s world”. There have been so many times that it seems to have no explanation, whether it is a sixth sense, God, or coincidence, it happens A LOT. I am surprised every time it happens and David has been telling me for weeks now: “That is your world just accept it, for whatever reason that is how it is for you.” I find it hard to accept because I have had so many people not believe me or not respond. I usually read the “silence” response in a wrong way, somehow turn it around as a negative on my part, instead of thinking possibly they just don’t know how to respond. Or some other reason for their silence.
I do not go seeking these things they pop up, they happen.
I do not find things the way that others do, I have to go through various routes that seem long and at times too lengthy a process. The reason is that I need to see it for myself, I need to learn it or own it myself. I need to know that I found it my way and connected it to my world to make it real. An example is a time that I found a song, I normally do not seek out suggestions given to me by iTunes or Amazon, but one day I decided to go to a sampler LP, when I saw all of the artists one popped out at me and I went straight to that song. When I listened to the song I laughed so hard because in the song it mentioned baby teeth in a jewelry box. Days earlier I had written about how I still had some of my baby teeth, guess what? They are in a small jewelry box. I felt anxious about sharing that on my blog, I feared people would think of me as a freak.
I found comfort when I heard the song, and the band turned out to have several great albums too.
Their songs actually opened some creativity in me that got me searching for other things, and connected some emotions I was feeling as well. Maybe that is not a big deal to people, but it is to me. It makes things have much more meaning and purpose. They are details that keep my world exciting and open to the imagination. It makes me not get sucked into the mundane or hard things in life. It keeps hope alive about seeing something new every day, it reminds me that I should never limit things to only the expected, and that whether it’s real or just coincidence those moments make you stop and think, “what if” in a positive way. Although I will say that on some days I feel like the universe is really messing with me! Or my imagination came to life on its own.
What is possible, having no imagination takes that question away.
I am sharing some pictures. There is a painting that my mom did, she has never painted anything like it before, she normally does landscapes. It is not finished, it is actually for tomorrow’s church service, she is painting during worship time. I loved it and I have requested that she makes me one with Mars, the moon, or planets, I must have it! It spoke to my heart and was confirming for me, but I will not go into that. My mom’s camera leaves a weird dot in the pictures, Lisa at Alienhippy said it was her time machine. Lol! Maybe it is…I didn’t listen to my gut today when I heard “take your camera” I am thankful mom’s was working. You have to click on some of the pictures to really see the small rainbow colors shining through and the birds flying.
Happy moon and rainbow dances to you!