Tag Archives: Autism Acceptance

04/13/13

Our First Autism Awareness Event, Um …

Last night, I took the kids to an Autism Awareness event in town. It is the first time that I have been able to take them for various reasons. It was the first year that I felt that Daniel would be able to go and enjoy himself and want to participate. I was not sure what to expect. I tried not having any expectations. I knew that I was walking into an event where it was called “awareness” and that word can have multiple meanings depending on each person’s perspective. I was not sure if the organization that was heading it was for acceptance or had other feelings toward Autism.

I had done my research about them and by all that I read they seemed to be very accepting.

Though, I still was not sure and being that I had so many negative experiences where we lived before I am very cautious. Little history, I had several churches claim they were accepting only to discover they thought Autism was demonic and/or Daniel needed healing or deliverance. NOT. I also, reached out to another organization that claimed they were there to help Autistic children with therapies, cost of therapies, and connect families for support, only to discover that they were pushing a cure Autism agenda. That is only a couple of experiences I had, I do have a few more, but I think that is enough info to explain my cautious attitude.

I kept my guard up and knew that if I felt or saw any of those types of things that the kids and I would just leave.

Thankfully, it was in a school only minutes from our house, easy to find and it always helps when we do not have to be in the car long. All the kids can get car sick, and Daniel still has moments of car anxiety that can be triggered going to new places. It was at a school in their gymnasium. We had to register when we got there and everything seemed very smooth and positive. The only thing that bothered me was that they had a DJ, blaring loud music that did not seem appropriate for young children, who have sensory issues. We could feel the vibrations out in the entryway. It was thumping and pounding, Daniel started to ask why his body was vibrating and why was it so loud.

I told him that we did not have to stay if it was too loud, but he said that he wanted to go in.

Everyone was very nice, but no one talked to us. They all just looked and smiled. I took it upon myself to take the kids around to play the games and make some crafts. They had a table sitting out with T-shirts to buy, but I was not sure what that was for until later. I was a little confused by everything because it was my understanding that it was an event for families with children who are Autistic and who have disabilities. They said on their website, to come help celebrate autism awareness month by coming to the event and that they provide this program as a service that is for families in our community raising a child on the Autism spectrum. (I paraphrased that.)

Here is where I had expectations.

What I read about the night indicated to me that it was for families raising a child(ren) on the Autism spectrum and to share information and resources offered by the community. No one spoke to us about the dog therapy when we went over, several times, to see the dogs and pet them. They talked to themselves and the dogs just sat there being pet. When I went to the table where the T-shirts were to see what it was about, no one talked to me except to ask what size shirt I wanted. I said that I did not have any cash; she asked if I had my checkbook. I did not. I had not expected to be giving money. I clearly did not understand the purpose of the event. She seemed to not know anything about what the organization offered and directed me toward a several handouts, but her main focus was for the fundraiser.

In my reading of the information on the website, which I read several times, I did not notice the fact that it was a money-raising event.

I could say that was my own confusion, I honestly do not know. Maybe I read things to literally, I do that you know. :-) I was very pleased to discover that they have a positive outlook about Autism. There were several people wearing shirts that had the puzzle type of logo, but the images swirled into words that said, “Autism Embrace the Amazing!” Their organization uses their funds to provide help for families who cannot afford therapies, help with legal issues, getting SSI information and assistance, they help advocate for the rights of individuals with disabilities, and have parent support groups.

Their main purpose is to improve the life of young autistics through support and acceptance.

That made me very happy, and the atmosphere, though it felt odd to me was not negative. I am glad I went and I think the more events I go to the more I will get a feel of how to interact. Possibly, another event that is more directed specifically toward Autistic families will be a better fit. It was a wonderful experience for the kids. They had so much fun playing with all of the sensory toys and running around the huge gym. I do admit, I was a little worried when I realized we were in a school building. I never had to think of it before, but now my mind goes there. What if someone without understanding was to come in and attack solely based on the false perceptions of Autism from media and certain circles. I hate that I was thinking of that, but I did.

I had to scan the gym, look for the exits, think of an escape route, just in case.

I was not paranoid; I only felt that I could not be that naive to believe that everyone is accepting of Autism. That is what all of the negative media has done to me – it has made me cautious and feel that I need to protect my children from ignorance that could turn to violence. I did not think of it long, only to have a plan and move on. Because of that though, when Daniel was digging around in a toy bin for what felt like forever, (he could not decide what he wanted) and I lost sight of Ariel for a moment, I felt anxious. I scanned that gym like a hawk. When I located her, I told Daniel that I would be right back; I did not go far at all to yell for Ariel to come closer. However, when I turned around Daniel was gone.

Again, my eyes scanned the gym like a hawk.

Panic started to set in because I could not see him, finally, I spotted him. He was walking very fast straight for the exit. I could tell that he was in a panic from behind; he was walking faster and faster. I was yelling his name, his hands were flapping, and everyone just watched. I thought that was very strange after the fact. I told Ariel and Joshua to stay there and I ended up in a full on sprint because he was heading out the exit doors, and no one stopped him. :-/ I caught up to him, put my arms around him to give him a squeeze, and then, turned him around. His face was red, tears were in his eyes, and he was breathing heavy. He could not even tell who I was.  I kept looking at him, squeezing his arms, saying, “Look Boo, it’s mommy. I am right here.”

After about the fourth time, he was able to recognize me.

Then, he said, “I thought you left me.” I reassured him that I never leave him and that I was right there. He apparently, did not hear me when I said that I would be right back. I said it three times, but I think it was all too much to process with the noise, toys, and excitement. I found it odd that no one stopped him or tried to stop him after they saw me yelling his name and running. I would have stopped any young child heading toward the exit doors without a parent, but that is me, I guess. He does look older since he is so tall …

I think writing this out indicates that I do have certain expectations.

I did not realize it, but I do. Overall, I am very happy with how everything went. The kids loved it, Daniel enjoyed himself, and the noise did not affect him the way that it used to. Even 6 months ago, we would not have been able to stay very long. We stayed for an hour and a half last night! We all left feeling good. The other thing I discovered was that the event was to help raise money for their Autism Awareness walk that is happening in a couple of weeks. I would like to participate, but I do not think I will be able to. I do feel that it was good for us to get out and try it. It definitely helps me with my social anxiety. I was confused at first, but then, I sat and thought about all I had observed.

I watched the young and older ladies line dance to music like Cotton-Eye Joe and I Am Sexy and I Know It.

It felt off, but I did enjoy seeing some of the kids that were there having a great time dancing. Joshua got his groove on to some songs and then, Daniel jumped into a little moves too. It was great! As I observed the volunteers and some of the other people who seemed to know each other, the words, “This is for them.” popped in my head. I realized that there were sensory toys and stations set up in the gym, but the bulk of the event seemed to be geared toward the people that already knew each other and for those who are not Autistic. I had a moment when I understood the lack of collaboration between autistic adults and autistic events.

It is one thing to read about it from others, it is another thing to experience it. 

While, I fully understand the need to do things that will reach people not on the autism spectrum, I wondered if they would be willing to work with adults on the spectrum. It also, made me wonder what kind of event could be done for us in my community. I see us do a lot of campaigning and activity via the internet, but I have not seen too many activities that are done by Autsitics at a local level. Though, I have only thought of this and I have not done much research. There could be things, I just need to look. However, I do know that in my community there is not anything. I have been in communication with a woman in town who started an Aspergers adult group last year, but it dwindled due to several reasons.

She and I have still been trying to think of activities that would be good for the group. 

However, life has been a bit hectic and full of activity so I have not been able to spend much time on that either. I think I am going to set some goals that will be attainable in the near future with this, but I also plan to set goals for next year’s Autism Awareness/Acceptance month. I plan on reaching out to this organization and meeting with another woman in town that heads up a local support group to get a feel. Of course, my first plan is to get connected and learn who these people are as people without any pressure on myself about these goals I am thinking about. I want to meet others who are working with the autism community in my town. I am hopeful because of the positive attitudes I have encountered so far, in every new social adventured, we have tried.

I am excited because they have been accommodating, accepting, and kind. 

I am not sure where I am going with all of this, but I am processing. I do know that I would like to be more active in the community. I think it would be great if people were willing to listen to an adult autistics locally. Who knows, if I were to speak up maybe I could find others around here who would like to as well. I would like to find more mothers who are autistic themselves, I think it would be beneficial to find more women in my real life, but if that is not the case I would like to be open to other mothers who I could connect with. You never really know who you can find some sort of bond with, it may not be related to being a mother or autistic at all. I could find a friend at the YMCA in one of my classes.

Something has shifted in my thinking that I noticed last night. 

I did not feel so lonely as I looked around and saw everyone talking, laughing, and hanging out. I did not feel hurt when people did not talk to me. I was satisfied with smiles and short conversations. I was not seeking them to understand my son or me. I was simply content and at peace observing, understanding certain dynamics, and enjoying all the children and my children. I was not offended at the lack of “autismness.” I understood what and why they did what they did. I think it sunk in for the first time that if I want something to be “Autism Friendly” that I am going to have to jump in and do something about it. I will be pondering this. Next! I can’t wait to write my next post sharing about all of the awesome things that has happened with the kids this week. It makes my heart overflow with joy when they are happy and proud of themselves!

I feel that last night turned out to be a spectacular evening on multiple levels.

Pictures!

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04/1/13

Autism Awareness/Acceptance Day (Month, Lifetime!)

Hello folks! This year I have found myself feeling the anxiety of the month of April on the first day of March. I do not do well with tension and now that is what Autism Awareness Month represents to me. I already struggle terribly with social situations and relationships. I have had to muddle through all sorts of emotions when it comes to the Autism Community. I have had such penetrating feelings of isolation and belonging that at times I have to walk away to gain my clarity of mind once again. My own journey started with Autism awareness transitioning into acceptance not only for my son, but come to find out for myself!

When Autism came into our vocabulary, it was new. 

I had virtually no knowledge of Autism whatsoever. I had to research, process, dissect, dismantle, research more, and break down an entire mental perspective, process, loop, more looping so on, and so forth. :-) It has taken time, it will continue. I had no idea that my life would become a daily process filled with Autism awareness and acceptance. We are all at different journeys in this process. We all have our unique perspective that is influenced by many factors. I write about my journey and my perspective it is different from my Autistic peers in many ways and it is similar in many ways. I share my perspective as a parent of an Autistic child, some autistic mothers may relate some may not.

10497007-light-bulb-vector-illustrationI have had to and still am in the process of accepting that I am Autistic. 

This is not a bad thing, it has given me such a new outlook on life, and how I see other people and my world. It has answered so many questions that I had about myself. It does not dismiss my challenges or my past that is filled with pains and scars. There are some days that I feel angry because had someone diagnosed me early on my life could have been much different. However, there are no guarantees that it would have been for the better, it could have caused even more struggles. There is no peace in “what could have been’s.” What we do have is the here and now.

And we can do a lot with that.

This year I have realized that I have more empathy toward those who have no knowledge of Autism, or those who are struggling with accepting that it is a part of their life. I relate in new ways to a person realizing that, they are Autistic, through self-diagnosis or receiving their “official” diagnosis.  I see with a different perspective the parents who have just learned that their child is Autistic. I think about how they make their choices to take on the journey of “fighting” it or embracing it. I have come to a place of looking back at my own experience and can apply understanding to others that I could not before.

I am obviously on the side of acceptance, but I will not attack a person who does not agree with me.

I do not have to agree with you to have empathy. I can understand because I have had to go through my own process. In the beginning, it was becoming aware. At times, I become amazed at my own ignorance (may sound harsh) in believing that people know about Autism. I have been baffled when I hear or read people talk about Autism and it feels like the Dark Ages. The reality is many people still do not have an accurate awareness about Autism. There are still many misconceptions, myths, and distorted perceptions.

Media and campaigns are not always the most accurate outlets.

However, they are springboards for getting information out there. In this past year, I have seen many more Autistics writing and sharing their personal journeys. I have read many more blogs from parents who focus on the positives of their child’s (rens) autism. I have read more websites that are focusing on the needs of Autistic children (still we need more focus on needs and helps for children and parents) and slowly there are some for adults. We still have quite a ways to go for Autistic adults; I am struggling with that myself. I need assistance and help in certain areas of my life, but I cannot get it.

The positive is that I am finding resources for my son.

I am thankful for the virtual school because they have made it possible for him to have therapies that my husband’s insurance does not cover, and unfortunately, we make too much to qualify for assistance, but not enough to pay for them out of pocket. Therefore, I keep getting creative and try to find ways to get him what he needs. :-) I see both the positive and the negative and I still hold onto hope. Some days not so much, but today I see the light. (It is not blue. A joke, relax!)

I am not sure if my post is expressing what I had hoped it would. 

However, I want this month to be a positive experience this year. I do not want to get to April next year and feel that tinge in my heart and the stone in my gut. I am going to take this month as I do each month and write what I am dealing with, our family adventures, our challenges and our GREAT days, and most of all continue to share my Autistic perspective. I can only hope that my openness and experiences that I share on my blog will move people to be more open to the possibility that no matter where we are at on the spectrum our challenges and needs are valid and need to move from awareness, acceptance, and to more action.

I do not want to be filled with anxiety this whole month. 

I will not argue, or demand that people share my point of view. I will continue to do what I have done all along, share my Autistic life spreading awareness, hoping for acceptance, longing for action, and support those within my community. There are plenty of people who are sharing some great posts this year. I hope people will wander and meander to read the different perspectives with openness and acceptance all around. I will once again share an older post because I still feel the same, pretty much. Bringing Awareness, I Am Turning Blue (Repost)

Happy Autism Awareness/Acceptance (Every) Day! 

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04/30/12

Angel (@MindRetrofit) to “I Wish I didn’t have Asperger’s” #AutismPositivity2012 Flash Blog

The driving force behind this post is here please go have a look at the many voices who shed light on Autism Positivity.

To “I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers”

 

My heart calls out to you my friend – I call you friend because I already feel a connection. The search words speak volumes, and had I been diagnosed years ago I may have typed the very same words myself.

Only a few years ago I was praying for my son to be healed from autism. It was a confusing, lonely, and desperate time. The tears well up in my eyes right now because the most painful part was that I had not seen the amazing beauty that was flowing through my child’s eyes. He has taught me much more about life than any philosopher, or religious figure. He played a key role in helping me accept myself.

If it was not for him I may still be condemning myself for not being “normal.” Attacking myself in droves seeking answers to “Just fix my brain!” My son’s autism has brought healing that I am fairly certain would not have happened had our eyes never been opened to autism.

I am not denying the challenges. We have them and they are great. We share in sensory issues, social issues, anxiety issues, and eating issues to mention a few. All of those things can be very difficult and hard to handle on some days, but the positives can outweigh the negatives. My son is gifted with numbers; he has an amazing engineering, and musical mind. He sees things with a unique and intriguing perspective. He loves intensely – not necessarily people. :-) He has passion and is hilariously witty!

When I think of you “I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers” I wonder about your talents. I would love to hear about your special interests and see where they could take you. My own special interests connect to many things. I love and have a great respect for words. I see connections through science and spirituality flowing into colors and numbers, creating poetry and songs. I hear the silence of the moon that reaches down to all of us who look upon it and share in its loveliness.

I say to you that you are not alone! We share in connection with the sky. If you feel alone, seek out those of us who share in your interests. Seek out those who share the reality of our pains from past and present. Seek out those who are older and have wisdom. Seek out those who are younger and can challenge you. Do not seek to wish that you would no longer be who you are.

There are days when it can seem bleak regarding autism. It feels like no one understands. That is not true. Many of us are sharing our voices and we are sharing them for ourselves, for parents and caregivers who do not know where to turn, and for people like you. We know the feeling even if some of us have never wished our Asperger’s to go, we empathize with the struggle to live in this world surrounded while drenched in loneliness and misunderstandings. We may not have wished it away because we didn’t know what it was, but possibly we did wish to fit in and to be/feel “normal.”

Personally, discovering a name for why I feel and do the things I do has been a relief, and a blessing. The way I think gives me great insight to my children. Each day I accept more and more of myself the good and the bad – with the knowledge of my challenges I am able to move forward. With the allowance of seeking my special interests I am healing from past hurts, and the all too confusing life ride that I have been on.

The future looks bright – I believe that one-day autism will be fully accepted and acknowledged into our culture. I do not know when, but the more we know the brighter it looks. The more we understand the more we can develop resources and attitudes to help each other. Also, leading into better helps for those who have different kinds of challenges in the autism community.

The more of us who utilize the resources available and change our minds to accept ourselves the greater the chances are.  I confess I have my days when I cry and wish that my brain would just stop what it is doing, but I then go and read my friends blogs who understand my pain. I read the resources that explain my brain. I write poetry or stories to spill out emotions I do not understand. It brings healing, and it reminds me that I am not alone.

I look at my son and remember not long ago he couldn’t have a conversation with his brother and sister. He now plays with them on a daily basis. He is telling jokes. It wasn’t even crossing my mind that he would tell jokes two years ago. There is hope. Many of us share in similar pains – there are ways to find help in times of desperation. If I were to be able to speak to you directly, I would say:

“You are unique and have so much to contribute through your Asperger’s mind. You have something special that needs to be shared with the world. You matter and are who you are supposed to be. Find people to help you see that, and build you up in it. You do not need many encourages, only ‘real’ ones. Find a place that accepts you and where you can learn how to gain self-awareness and self-acceptance. Do not deny who you are – embrace it. Once you embrace your challenges and your gifts your life will change. You can do it. You are not alone. You are fully capable. Look in the places of hope, not the places of doubt or self-denial. Your voice matters too. Share it! And when the down times come do not fall for the voices that tell you that none of this is true. Go after the autism acceptance community with a vengeance and determination to remember who you are. We will all be here waiting to share and embrace you! Happiness is the understanding that you are not a disease, or defective – you are a remarkable individual who can achieve great things with the right tools, resources, and encouragement. Search upon those things.”

 Autism Positivity

Our positive outlook begins inward. A good thing about our autism is that in our weaknesses we see with much more clarity just how awesome our strengths are. What may be construed as a weakness can be manifested into great strengths. They may hurt deeply, feel overwhelming, cause us to be immobile at times, but if we look at them as a way to grow and challenge ourselves, I think we can find the positives.

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04/3/12

Fragmented Thoughts

I have had to take a break from blog reading. There are so many wonderful posts that are being written, and other ones…I am not in the mood to write a post about autism. My brain reflects my different way of thinking, and truth be told several posts from people have caused me social confusion. I want to keep it light today, but I am hoping to focus on autism and self-awareness in the weeks to come. I am torn this year about all of this “awareness” going on. I am frustrated and excited at the same time. I see so many new bloggers, and people on the spectrum sharing their stories. I find that to be so great! I am also enthusiastic to see many more parents writing about autism acceptance. However, I am still faced with the reality that others feel this is a disease that needs a cure. In recent days this has happened several times in my own person life.

We are constantly balancing between spectrums.

At times it feels very much like we are given a “one or the other” choice. Still I will focus on all of the positives that I see. However, because of all of these wonderful posts, “other” posts, and personal experiences with negative spins my brain is racing and soaring in all directions. I have so many things that I want to share, but cannot find my words. Instead, I will share some pictures, and the three little ones that fill me with joy along with coercing me into a freezing ocean today. Oh, Oh! I got a picture of my $5.00 Macy’s coat too. :-) Please, please brain get yourself together!

Alright, alright I cannot leave without sharing some resources.

Stigma and the “Othering” of Autism

Autism Awareness is Not Enough: Here’s How to Change the World

How Asperger’s syndrome affects creativity

Monkey and Autism Acceptance Month

Autism Understanding and Acceptance

Autism and Empathy

Zoey ~ My Autism Greeting

Video by stark.raving.mad.mommy


 

 

 

 

 

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03/23/12

At Home Autism Acceptance

With April coming around the corner, I am already anticipating the tons of things that will be seen on the internet dealing with Autism Awareness Month. Everyone has his or her agenda, I think that can be a very good thing. It gets us talking as a society, it gets people thinking, it can get people arguing, and I think it could be far worse to stay silent about autism than to argue. At least that is something. Personally, I do not want to argue with anyone though, I get sick and shut down at conflict. I normally see all sides, even if I do not agree with it. I can still see it and feel for them. (As long as it is not plain evil.) I have noticed this past week that Ariel and Joshua have been saying things about Daniel being autistic. They have done this more so in the last year. For some reason it is coming up a lot. It got me thinking about awareness and acceptance at home and how I need to do a better job teaching them in this area.

Daniel has had a hard time adjusting to the time change.

He has had his Hex Bugs taken away, and he is still unable to have them back. They continue to cause him more harm than good — stimulating wise. His inability to find a replacement interest has caused him to have the feeling of being lost. He is looping, and I have been trying to help, but he is stuck. We have to ride it out. Because of this, his other self-regulating stims have come back that he hasn’t done in a while. The good thing is he is more talkative, sharing what is on his mind, expressing himself, (as best as he can) and being much more socially involved with their play. There are great things, and bad things that go along with this. Ariel and Joshua get overloaded; when they do, they just stop playing. If not given an explanation it does not bode well with Daniel. We have been over and over this, they have to tell Daniel when they are finished playing and most of all tell him WHY. Daniel will be fine as long as he understands why they stopped playing, or they got frustrated. (I am the same way, it won’t hurt my feelings at all just tell me!) This can lead into an all-day meltdown. He does not understand why all of a sudden they are done. It feels like rejection. He thinks he did something wrong, but he does not know what.

Ariel and Joshua do the same thing to each other.

It can turn into a mess sometimes. Joshua tends to think that we can read his mind, or that he told us already what he was thinking. He and Ariel get into arguments about the house rules, social rules, Pokémon rules, game rules, how you should pronounce words, how things are to be put away, and many other fun rules that they have gathered away in their minds. (Rules that may or may not be quite accurate.) They are rigid and strict in their understanding of the rules. They also try to inform Daniel of the rules, but he always breaks them according to them. It gets very frustrating to hear them constantly telling Daniel how he is doing something wrong. Joshua cannot handle Daniel’s eating sounds, so he either yells at him or has his own meltdown because of the sound. We have an open floor plan home with high ceilings — it does not help the noise factor around here. It especially does not help all of us who are highly sensitive to sounds.

This would be the kids and me.

After the symposium, I have been more observant of the social dynamics between the kids. I have taken notice to how they speak to each other, and how they treat each other. Joshua voices often that he doesn’t understand why Daniel acts certain ways, or gets to eat things that he doesn’t. Food is a big deal to Joshua. Daniel has a very limited diet and I have to get nutrients in him whatever way possible. It seems unfair that Daniel gets to eat banana and yogurt for dinner, but Ariel and Joshua have to eat the dinner I made. A dinner that contains broccoli! Joshua doesn’t realize that Daniel’s “tasty” yogurt is swimming with sweet potato puree and I can guarantee Joshua would not like it. I am thankful that Joshua is able to tell me what bothers him though, and he is willing to listen most days. The kids have really kicked it up a notch at pointing out Daniel’s differences, and “favoritism” around here. I decided I needed to do something about it. (I have pulled some of this straight from my home school blog because I didn’t feel like rewriting it. I had to give that little confession — I do not know why. :-) )

I know that it is a normal course of childhood for them to point out differences.

However, it still does not make sense to them why he gets to do certain things that they do not. At times, it feels very much like an injustice, though it is not. We try very hard to keep things balanced and focus on their needs as equal as Daniel’s. Ariel and Joshua show many autistic traits, but I am sure they could also fall under the “normal” category. They do have some social issues, anxieties and misunderstandings, but they may improve a great deal when we get into more homeschooling groups. I do not know we will have to see. Joshua is very social and has no problems starting conversations with anyone — he does gear everything toward his special interest though. Ariel expresses her anxiety clearly. She has anxiety when she goes to new places or meets new people. She says that she loses her words and doesn’t know how to talk to someone. She told me this week “Well I know how to talk to them, but I don’t know how to get my words in order or what to talk to them about.”

She does such a wonderful job at explaining these things to me.

Joshua and Daniel both do not know what they are feeling. Their confusion causes other effects, but it doesn’t happen until we get home — normally. They all have sensory issues that can cause meltdowns, they all have special interests that consume their everything, they all do not know how to talk to other kids even though I have used social stories, given them scripts, read books about it, but they still are awkward, shut down, or talk non-stop about their interest. Still Ariel and Joshua feel that Daniel is autistic and they are not. They are able to communicate their feelings much more than Daniel; at times, they feel that he is “freaking out” for no reason. I then have to explain to them the reason for Daniel having a hard time. They do not associate any of their behaviors as being similar as his. My plan this week was to help them see how each one of them is different and discover their similarities.

I am using the book The Autism Acceptance Book for all three of them.

I tried this book before, but they were not ready for it. It was last year I believe and I think they were still too young. Daniel knows that he has autism, but does not understand what that means. He thinks that he is the same as everyone else until someone says something different. He does not have a clear sense of self-awareness. I am hoping that working through this book with all of them will help them have a better understanding about autism and how it relates to each one of them. Ariel and Joshua can be Daniel’s biggest advocates out in the world of their peers. I want them to understand and be able to explain it to others as well. I do not want them to feel like they have to, I hope they want to share how important acceptance is on their own. I shared with them about bullying and why it is wrong. I have plenty of childhood, and adult stories to share about my own personal experiences with being bullied that I can pull from.

The kids and I come with scenarios and practice what they would do in these situations.

And let me tell you there is nothing wrong with running home, or to a safe place as quickly as you can! I have done it plenty of times — understanding now I had nothing to be ashamed of for protecting myself by getting the heck out of the situation. The kids understand what I am talking about when it comes to bullying, they have seen it on TV, they watched cartoons that explained how horrible it is, and we openly talk about it. I used that as an entry point to talk about autism. The reason that most people are bullied is their differences. If we understand our own difference’s, accept them, and feel self-confident about being different, we are better able to cast down bully type words. I do not want my kids to hide their quirks, differences, or stims. I want them to feel confident to be themselves, but also understand that if you live in this world as yourself there are those who will not like it. I think one of the biggest things that would have helped me, had I known when being bullied, is understanding that it was not really about me.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

I was being me, and the bully did not like it. The reasons for bullying do not have to make sense. This would have helped me too. If someone would have explained to me that, a bully can randomly pick on someone “just because” that would have cleared up the confusion that was looping in my brain. I would not have spent so much time trying to figure out why they did it, and why they chose me. It still would not make sense, but it would have helped me see that they were completely illogical in their thinking and they perceptions were based on insecurity, and wanting acceptance themselves. (A great deal of the of the time.) Discussing all of this brought us to the point of talking about autism acceptance. While there are some things I am not fond of in the book, I realize that it is geared toward neurotypical children. From that perspective, I can see it as a good thing. For us in this house…well we had to get over the whole “Take a walk in someone else’s shoes” idiom. Thankfully they explain what that means in the book because I was doing a poor job. I won’t go into it, but it had something to do with them wearing my shoes and then all of us getting confused. :-)

Through the book, for each chapter at the end, there were a series of questions.

As I read the book and asked the questions, it was very interesting to see how each of the children saw themselves. The more we read the more I realized that Ariel and Joshua are on the spectrum much more than we thought. I have done this before; I see where I have fallen short in areas of helping them or recognizing their behaviors. They seem to have no problems until something like this opens my eyes and I ask them questions. It gets me in a loop of wanting to get them diagnosed as well. I wonder if it will help them, or if I haven’t done enough. This time around I decided we will wait it out until we move and focus on it then if need be. I am mainly concerned with social skills and sensory diet. I can already work on those things now. Overall, I think the book is an excellent resource in helping children understand what autism is like. The start of the book is about accepting others in general. I liked how they explained what acceptance was.

A quote from the book:

“When people look different from you or act differently than you do, the best thing to do is try to understand and accept them. In other words learn more about them, be kind to them, and include them in things that you and your friends do together.”

~ The Autism Acceptance Book

Autism can be difficult to explain.

I think the book does a good job at explaining some of the issues for children who are autistic. It talks about how people are different from each other overall. It asks questions about how “you” are different. It states that the autistic brain works differently in many ways. There are sections about the difficulties for children on the spectrum with communication, expressing themselves, senses, seeing the small details and focusing on them, playing differently, difficulties talking, which I thought worked well for the age group this is geared toward. They also suggest ways to get involved in helping support autism by teaching others what you have learned. They suggest presenting the information to their class, or raising money and donating it to an autism charity. At the end there are group activities, they get to create their own social story, and then make a scrapbook about what they have learned. My personal feeling is that books like these need to be added to school curriculum. I think it would be beneficial to children and parents to have a book like this in their hands. As well as for teachers so they can better understand and accept what life is like for children on the autism spectrum.

If we want to bring awareness and acceptance to the autism community this would be a great start.

(I know we need school funds, maybe it is wishful thinking.)

 

Ellen Sabin (Author, Illustrator)

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