I decided not to take a break from school yesterday. Daniel was behind several lessons and I wanted to catch up as well as spend some additional time with Daniel and Joshua with their reading. I am already seeing progress with staying consistent and incorporating some of the suggestions from their teachers. Yesterday went exceptionally well because I remembered to add the iPad apps, used some of the learning game websites that the teachers shared, utilized BrainPop Jr., and other things to motivate and keep all of us enthused.
We did a full day with great excitement and ease.
I am writing to remind me because it always happens – a very great day usually means I need to take it easy on the next day. I forget because progress and completion motivate me. The kids do not get as motivated as I do – they need time to process and review. The things that are their special interest they can do and never get tired. I have to remind them continually why school is important and why they must do it. They love to learn, they are natural absorbers, but they do not enjoy schoolwork. Such as practice sheets, or writing out stories and sentences. Ariel on certain days will says that she is “in love” with schoolwork and the next day all of her grandiose love has flown off with the wind.
Such a fleeting love affair.
They love to tell me stories and poems, as long I write it out for them. They will tell me stories all day long, or give me detailed instructions on how to build some wild Lego creation. There is no problem explaining to me how the ceiling fan works and uses electricity, along with how the remote control uses a 9-volt battery. Ariel can spend hours telling me great tales of dragons, or explaining the details of a cheetah and its environment. Actually writing it out is another story… we will keep practicing.
Today was not so bad, but it had its moments.
They were willing to work, but they did not have the energy or mental levels to do what they did yesterday. I on the other hand was eager to go! I had it in my mind that we could get far ahead after having such great progress yesterday. I really need to get a grip. Every day is going to be different and I have no control over it. It does not help that the weather is messing with my allergies and making me a tad bit cranky. Woof! I just like saying that. 
Excuse me while I make a mental note to myself: On the good days be thankful and do as much as possible without overloading everyone. On the not so good days, just go with the flow and be thankful for all that is accomplished. Oh, remember to stop being so rigid. Hee hee
On another note.
It was my mom’s birthday on Saturday and I did a Google hang out with her on Sunday. I really like to be able to see her and talk to her. It helps me stay connected and not fall into negative loops when I do not hear from her. I have been making an effort to keep regular contact with her and she is doing the same with me. I am glad that we are able to do that now. I am not so sure it would have worked that well in years past. I am also making real effort at staying connected with my sister and my aunt in real life. Since I am no longer relying on facebook to give me information I have found actual contact is more positive for me. I have not made up irrational loops, or gone off into negative spins about anyone in my family, or with anyone else for that matter.
Go figure!
It just proves to me that I should continue to stay away from my personal fb page. My mind feels so calm. Amazing. I even stepped it up a bit and asked my aunt to go out this week. We are supposed to go out tomorrow night. Woot! I told her she could get all drunk and wild if she needed to and I would drive. I can no longer get all drunk and wild with her like in the old days, but give me a soda and you may see me dancing on some tables. It does not matter if we are at some fancy restaurant, bar and grill, or a club. I do not need a club to dance on tables. Ha ha ha I kid, I kid. (Maybe) I do not even think there is a club in this town! She does not get all drunk and wild either, she has to keep up her paleo diet and work on her physique to get some fantastic pictures to promote herself as a personal trainer.
It is progress for me to speak up and say that I am taking a break and actually doing it.
I have also made a plan that I am implementing to help me to gain income on my own. I have to press through fears of feeling as if I am not capable. I keep reminding myself of all of the things I have accomplished on my own and gaining back my identity in that area. My mind has already changed to focusing on my strengths and using them to guide me. This is huge progress for me as well. The other night I spoke out about certain things that were being said to me that I did not agree with.
I was able to say clearly what I felt was untrue and that I would not accept it.
I also, noticed that my language changed from saying things that I cannot do to all of the things I can do and do well. I think that is very good. I did not have to think about it or force the words out, I simply stated it without guilt, shame, or fear of someone coming along and telling me otherwise. I believed it and that is a very important step in my progress. Well that is all – I do not feel the need to write anymore right now. Sorry to cut it off like that, but I am distracted with things I want to work on.
Random pictures for no apparent reason, of course. Tallyho!
