I must be back in a “seeing numbers in everything” loop because they have been popping out at me again lately. I normally see numbers, it doesn’t go away, but when they operate in this loop they become breathing and moving organisms in massive settings. I see them dance, play, fold, mesh, and flow out of things. There is an added intensity because of their color or how some numbers come at me in black-and-white. I really enjoy when the numbers play with me. They have been my close friends for a lifetime. Last night I went for a bike ride, and as I was saying: “hi” to all of the trees and bushes I noticed how their leaves or trunks would fold into numbers.
I could see bunches of numbers, double digits, or single digits.
I was in high-speed last night because I had a lot of energy and wanted to ride my bike like a maniac! As I flitted across the road I was captured by pine cones and their numbers, a lizard that popped out as a striped 21, a black spider crawling he was an 8. Spiders always remind me of eight, I am sure it is as simple as their number of legs and pairs of eyes. I rode past the ponds and the ripples flowed into masses of numbers folding into smooth calm reflections. The sky made the water look pink in the silhouette of the trees in the background. They all blended in number and color. I also noticed that their vibrations were forming the numbers, the vibrations of the still tree trunks. The bouncing of the sounds from each number, color, and vibration I saw in the scenery surrounding me.
That is my “big picture” thinking.
I get captured in the details of these things and lose track of time and even the things going on around me. I think this is why I could spend hours outside by myself as a child and even as an adult. As a child I was outside from the time the sun came out until it was too black to see. As long as I was in eye-shot my mom was fine with it. I get intrigued by certain things and they can make me start thinking and seeing things with a certain intrigue to investigate this world. Yesterday afternoon, I took the kids to “play” basketball. We had a great time, but the sound and feel of the bounce and vibration of the ball does something to me. It wakes up some sort sensory chamber and gets me seeing with intensity. I think this may be a reason that I would practice dribbling so I could watch and listen to the world that it opened up for me.
I have found no other ball that does that for me.
The sounds are not the same when you kick, or throw, or toss a ball. A kick ball has a nice ping sound, but not the same and it does not produce the dynamics of acoustic waves that a basketball does for me. This sound, sight, and feel of the tiny bumps on the ball give some sort of sensory stimulation in me. It helped the flow of numbers and colors that were already at play manifest in a greater way yesterday. For me all of the little details are the big picture, but others would say that I am caught up in the minute details. It reminded me of the poem I had written the other day Hidden Lyrics. I wrote this poem based on a vision (movie) playing in my mind. I was transported into the depths of a human heart. As I looked around it twisted into DNA strands, which to me manifest into lyrics.
I was captured by the strands of a mass of people.
The strands had music and lyrics that twisted and folded into helical formulas. The DNA strands each coded with every person’s own genetic formula, any missing spaces had silence, but then would wrap into lyric and song. There was certain code that had no words only a tune, but they all flowed together into what made the person. Their songs still playing and twisting out, but some lyrics were muted. They rose to the surface to create a person and the individual was born. I mixed the poem with my own personal emotions as well, but in all of those details I saw the “big picture”.
It makes me wonder what it truly means by big picture.
What do we lose when we do not reflect on the minute details to look at a mass as one instead of seeing the “one” as the mass? The other intriguing thing about this poem is the picture. I found the picture after I had written the poem and when I saw it I thought it was perfect. I so wish I could paint or draw what is in my mind fully. I went to the page about the artist and was captivated. This taken from her bio caught my attention. “Crick explores this idea through encaustic painting and print-making by mixing impulses from both sides of the brain: logical and random, methodical and intuitive, textual and visual.” I recommend reading her bio and checking out her art. I find it so interesting that several months ago I started my attempts at painting and drawing, but the images I felt would be perceived as childish or silly.
I never thought I could paint or draw the images that floated about in my mind, or I thought I would be laughed at.
The paintings that started to come out of me were swirlies, infinities, numbers, and strands of what look like infinities connecting to each other or through each other. These painting or doodles help me a great deal to process and they make me very calm. After searching for images for my poem blog, I became aware of how many other artists are out there painting these images. They are from all walks of life. They are extremely spiritual, scientific, or no beliefs at all, they are angry or full of joy, and they have beliefs that range from organized religion to New Age. I find it interesting and fascinating that we are all separated yet connected. It gets me thinking about what causes our divisions amongst our human clans. What is it that keeps us hiding our lyrics from one another or stopping to listen to another person’s song? I know why I do. I drown out their lyrics or tune because they confuse me, hurt me, anger me, or judge me.
I would like to know what it looks like to have harmony with our human songs playing and being heard together.
I am not going to bust out the Coke Coca Cola song, ok I am! Too bad I do not drink soda. Seriously, all of this has me pondering about the big picture because I am supposed to be focused on that and not the details according to the world. However, the world seems to be missing a lot of the big picture by not seeing, acknowledging, or even stopping a moment to see what the details actually have to tell us about their big picture. I guess that is my rambling for the day. I am off to have some fun with the kids and gather up all of their details.