Yes, that is what my brain is doing. I have written four posts over 1000 words about communication and looping. I am not sure that I will publish them I have just written them. I need to make sure that they make sense. While processing I do very well at cleaning so today I cleaned up the backyard. The patio area got really gross from storms and lawn people and such. As I cleaned up for the first time I actually realized that I had tried to recreate many things from my childhood for my kids. All of the positive things for me, like being surrounded by books, music, doing crafts with my mom and baking with her, and the time I spent alone outside with the volley ball net set up practicing volleyball. Or playing badminton by myself running under the net to try to hit the bird.
I had a softball and mitt and would toss the ball high up in the air and practice my catch.
I had a kickball, croquet set, along with my black basketball (loved) my softball mitt was black too. My step-dad played a lot of sports as well, like softball, basketball, and rugby. He was a wrestling fan as well so that was on the TV A LOT. It’s so funny he was the opposite of my mom in so many ways. The only sport my mom ever cared for was boxing, which is very strange since she cannot stand the sight of blood or people getting hurt. Very strange indeed. As I was outside cleaning I noticed that the kids have a basket of balls, a tee ball thing and a kiddie play golf set. I wanted to get them a croquet set, but I haven’t found one at a good price.
While I was cleaning up Ariel and Joshua played football.
They were running, throwing the ball, and tackling each other. They played with their kiddie badminton racquets and then soccer, oh, I forgot I had a soccer ball too as a kid. When I was finished both of them had gone inside and it was Daniel obsessing over the air conditioner fan and me. I grabbed the basketball and started flipping my wrist tossing the ball in the air. Daniel thought that was awesome and wanted to try. He wanted to use a different ball though. So I taught him how. Then, I taught him how to throw a football and kick a soccer ball. He did it for a while, but the fan was calling. I decided to practice some of my basketball moves and to my surprise it just came right back to me. Like riding a bike and it was awesome!
Joshua came out and said: “Wow! Mom I didn’t know you could do that. You are fast!”
Well since he doesn’t really know any better I guess I did look pretty fast with my crisscross, jump, ball toss in the air. Ha ha ha The dribble just came out of me like lightning! I kid. However, to Joshua it was impressive and I have to say I have a big smile on my face because it was fun. There is a court nearby, I think with the cooling weather it will be fun to take them out to shoot some hoops. Daniel may get distracted with the bouncing sound and vibrations from the ball like I did, but I think it will be worth it. I know that Ariel and Joshua will love it, plus there is a huge open field and we can use that for football and soccer fun. I think I am finding new ways (getting old ways back) to help me process.
I guess I am getting my game on! Lol!
Ok, really what I have discovered is that my brain has gotten a lot less cluttered and jumbled by creating blogs (a database for each part of my brain) to separate the different interests I have. I am discovering my cycles and also remembering them from the past. I have not pinpointed when they come, but in basic terms I have visual, information input (consume massive amounts of information on a topic)/analytical, creative, intensely active/productive, and downtime (I don’t want to do anything except movie/show watching.) cycles. Some of them will work together like input and visual, but also connects to music. However, since finding ways to organize and funnel my thoughts I have been able to stay in a creative mode. Actually it has taken my constant input, (different from my all consuming input mode) and given it direction to help me process. I have been slowly progressing into this over the past year, but didn’t realize how beneficial it was for me.
Creating different blogs has made it easier to organize my thoughts onto each of them.
I have this one, which I consider my analytical special interest blog. I have my poetry blog and my stories and random thoughts blog to help me process emotions and whatever. I have a music blog, but I have not shared it because it is kind of intimate for me. Music can make me feel exposed at times, even if I am just listening to whatever. It is hard to explain. I also have a fear of being judged for the music that I listen to. (I know I shouldn’t, but I am working through that) I have now started a home school blog to help me do a quick paragraph or so with pictures. I can recall every detail of the day from the paragraph or photos so that will help for year end evaluations. Now that I think of it perhaps I should just do a picture blog too! Yeah, I don’t know about that one yet.
I am feeling much less chaotic in my thoughts.
I am also getting better at writing faster since I have these separated. It helps me write in the correct (category/file) place and leave it. What has been happening is that all of them mix and flow together since I have so many connections. I now see when all of them flood me they come rapidly and are hard for me to separate and process, especially if there are emotions that I do not understand or I am confused about involved. It takes me longer to process emotions. David has explained to me before my connections do not always make sense to others. Or they are too detailed and cause other people to get jumbled. I can understand that, I do that to myself! The more that I have been separating my connections into categories that are natural to me, the easier I find it to help me see the details and determine what is of great importance and what is not. I don’t know if any of this makes sense to others, but I do know that I am good at blogging, I really enjoy it, and it seems to be helping me find my balance.