Daily Archives: October 16, 2011

Where’s Your Enthusiasm?

I am truly at the end of my rope trying to help Daniel stop being fixated on the appliances. He is unable to leave them alone, he has been in a frenzy like state and is getting overloaded. He then gets angry at me when I try to deter him and direct him to other things. He almost caused the microwave to topple on the floor several times because he keeps turning it around to watch the fan or he flings open the door and pulls out the glass tray to watch it spin or look at the lights and fan on the inside. He peeks through the tiny holes to watch it. He keeps adjusting the temperatures on the freezer and the refrigerator because he likes watching the air change and listening to the fan.

He is doing the same thing with the washer, dryer, blender, oven, stove, and dishwasher.

This morning I gave him back his snap circuits, which I had to take away because he continued to get overstimulated and started giving himself headaches, it also made him aggressive and angry. I am hoping that it will not go that way today. It seems to be helping him stay away from the appliances. We are planning on getting computer parts and analog electronic type things for him to put together in the next few days. I enjoy those types of things so I am thinking some school projects are in store. In one of my attempts to help him get unfixated on the appliances we went to the beach on Friday late afternoon. (Yesterday we went to our first county fair, that is another whole post.) It was a lovely day, but the water was cold. We found all kinds of creatures in shells which was cool. It helped all of us for a while to get away from the appliances. :-)

So we played, soaked in the sun, and took a ton of pictures.

I now understand why I take so many pictures. I do not know how to categorize different levels of importance so everything I see is of great importance. Each shell is different so it needs a picture, every wave, the details in the water, the mounds of sand, the sky, and the clouds. They are all equally important to me because I see the details in each one, for others a shell is a shell and a cloud is a cloud and it is nice, but not each one is perceived as that miraculous as it is to me. Details. This really hit me when yesterday I was looking at the pictures and I said out loud (but it was really self talk) “I do not see how people cannot sit here and look at these pictures for hours, there are so many details in just the one picture.”

As I clicked to the next picture I squealed with excitement “My arm looks like a two!”

David was in the kitchen and I ran over and showed him I thought it was so cool. He did not share my excitement and didn’t find it as fascinating as I did. I had not purposely made a two shadow with my arm so I thought it was really cool that it formed a two. David explained to me that he just doesn’t see numbers in everything like I do and when I share things like that he feels like he is living in my mathemagic world. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but he said that he was explaining his lack of enthusiasm because he doesn’t share the same kind of love for numbers or see numbers or even connections the way that I do. I was puzzled by this. It was one of those moments where I realized that not all people really see things the way I do. Realistically I know this, but I do forget.

I mean come on! Who doesn’t get excited at a shadow number??

I am kidding, I guess it really isn’t that exciting to most. :-) However, I never would have thought that until he said something. I would have assumed that everyone would want to see it. Just like with all of my pictures, I would assume that everyone would want to look at the different movements in the water and how the water flowed around the shells, and the different shells that adorned the beach. It is much like thinking everyone would want to spend hours trying to find all of the fans and inner workings of appliances. Hm…Wanting to know why it spins, has lights, makes noise, gets colds, gets hot, it would be quite interesting to know what world is going on in those things. Much like wanting to know all of the details of a seashell, the creature living inside, and the water and sand surrounding it.

I think I can relate to the appliances, and I can relate to the lack of enthusiasm that David was talking about.

I can relate, I cannot understand! Are you kidding? Who doesn’t want to look at sand for hours or take a billion pictures of shells and water or see awesome shadow numbers formed from your body without even knowing it?? :-) I have been processing this kind of thing a lot lately, how I have always assumed that others had the same interest in a topic as myself. I see where I have assumed that and then got really confused by their response or lack of response. I also gained a new perspective on my own lack of interest in other people’s interests. I have discovered that when I am uninterested in what someone is sharing I tend to have a conversation going on my head trying to find things to connect to what they are saying. I naturally do this, seeking connections to whatever a person is sharing, but when I am uninterested I have to work harder at making connections, they do not automatically connect.

It takes more work for me to keep focused as well.

I can drift off in my own thoughts, still hearing everything that they are saying, but have my own conversation. Many times my self talk has come out verbally and I was completely unaware. The other person assumed that I was talking to them and were either confused by my comment or upset with me because they thought that I was being rude in the middle of a conversation. My outburst may seem completely unrelated, but to me I am making a connection. I then, have to explain myself which normally takes a while because I have to explain each connection that got me to that point. I try really hard to keep quiet so I do not have to explain myself, but sometimes it just comes out without a thought.

I tend to blurt out rules to myself also.

If I am in a situation where I have had to explain myself or I am trying to remember what not do again, I can blurt out my rule. Normally, it makes no sense to the person who is with me and I end up having to explain myself or I say: “Oh, nothing I was just talking to myself.” I have always talked to myself, there is a constant conversation going on in my head. The topic of conversation is always about my fixation(s) at the moment. Since Daniel started talking he has done this, he will tell himself the rules constantly even when he is breaking the rules, like “Do not touch the appliances!” All three of the kids do this as well with their fixations, there is a constant chatter going on about their special interests at any given moment. They don’t seem to understand that we do not share the same amount of enthusiasm as they do with their topics of choice. What? Ha ha ha To be honest I am not sure that I will remember this, I will try to make up a rule.

I guess the rule to remember here is, “Not everyone shares the same amount of enthusiasm in my interests”….What? (Joking)

I am still putting up pictures though. (only 20 out 113) Hee hee


 

 

 

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