I am feeling the need to put up a less so “deeply” involved post for my sake and everyone. I don’t want to run anyone off! Here is what is going on around here. Thanks to a friend who shared some awesome resources with me about behavioral planning, I have come up with our own version of a “meltdown” management system. I thought about what I could use to help Daniel connect and hopefully help him really be able to learn how to help himself and realize what his actions do to others.
My plan: Operation 2319!
He loves Monster, Inc., since he has only recently gotten into watching more movies, so far, Wall-E, anything Winnie the Pooh, Tangled and Monster, Inc. are the only ones that he will sit all the way through and watch over and over. He goes through cycles, for months it has been Monsters. I had already been saying “Oh, no! It’s a 2319!!” when he would start to lose control and it was helping to get him calm enough to at least get some words out so I could help him. I decided to come up with a 2319 chart that would help him have visual pictures of what is the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do.
I used pictures from the movie to represent each situation.
I am going to have pictures below, but there are good cards, (accomplishment cards) acting out cards, out of control cards and time out cards. I went ahead and set it up for all of the kids because Joshua is starting to have issues too and I want to help him before it gets out of control. Ariel loves it. She is all about charts and achievement. When I set it all up and explained it she told me “Oh, yes I think this is a good idea. I will get a lot of good cards and show the boys what to do.” :-) They collect the cards and receive rewards. We do this for their chore charts, they earn money for doing their chores so now it is applied to accomplishments. It is much like a job, you do well you get perks. Well that is what I am telling myself anyway.
That is the quicky version of what it is but you can get the gist of it.
The picture I used for 2319, which is out of control, has Sulley making a scared face with Boo standing there. Daniel connects with Boo because I call him Boo Bear. He asked me why I used that picture and I told him that when he gets out of control, “We get scared because we do not know what he is going to do. Just like Sulley was scared of Boo. But Sulley had no reason to be scared because Boo was just trying to talk to him. It is the same thing because you do behavior that scares us since we do not know what you are going to do. We also do not know why you are doing those things. But you are not scary and you are only trying to tell us something. If you stay calm and use your words or show us, we can help you.”
He stopped and thought about that for a few minutes.
We discussed it a bit more so that he understood that he was not scary and that all we want to do is help. He laughed and thought it was a great idea. OK! It has worked. He has been trying very hard to stay calm and use his words instead of not so pleasant things. It is a system in progress, it will change I am sure but at least it is something that he can look at and connect to at this time. So far so good. We will see what happens at the next full moon! He is doing incredible, especially considering he is still using the potty and doing great with that.
I used this clip to show him and share that we only want to help get rid of or find the things bothering him.
I have to be careful how I word things. I tried to be very clear, used simple directions, visuals to help him connect and asked him to explain what I said after I went over it. He seemed quite relieved to see this chart with the pictures, to see what he should do. Ariel was quite happy and Joshua, well Joshua is much like his daddy. He isn’t too fond of rules and likes to bend them to his will as much as possible. But he is giving it a try.
So I guess we will see how it continues to play out, hopefully it will work and progress into a good working system.
And now for some photos!