Over three years of trying everything I read about potty training. Trying rewards, schedules, bribes, reasoning and even creating new ideas like a “potty fan”. Finally, he did it! We are far from being completely potty trained but Daniel has been wearing real undies for a day and half now. He went in the potty all day yesterday, Sat. was the first time that he had ever actually used the potty. It has been a long hard process just to get there. We have had to take months off from even talking about a potty because it would send him into an aggressive state or a flat-out “No”, basically telling me that he would never use the potty. We haven’t even attempted “number 2” yet. We’ll get there.
We just had to make it to the acceptance of using it at all, first.
I would like to say that I was so awesome that I came up with the perfect plan and it just flowed so grandly to the happy potty state that we have now. However, that is not true. It was a fluke! It was by chance that this has happened at all. I was pretty desperate, not knowing how long it was going to take my 6-year-old to use the potty. He can do first grade math but cannot use the potty. Try explaining that to people. :-/ It is true though that I have been working on training him for 3 years now. Possibly over 3 years, now that I think about it. We have had to take breaks like I said but it has been something we have continued to work on.
The most recent months I have been reading social stories to him and having him read them too.
We have been talking about it and trying to figure out what it is that makes it hard for him to use the potty. We would try, sit on it, stand by it, look at it. Nothing. He could not make the connection from his brain to his body part. BUT on Sat. we were at my mom’s house, I gave her our pool because the owners of our house (we rent) bought new grass so mom and I set up the pool for the summer over there. We went swimming and the rule is “You cannot pee in the pool.” The other rule at Grammy’s house is you cannot pee in the yard. I was so desperate at one point with the potty thing that I encouraged Daniel to pee in the back yard.
So after swimming all the kids peed in the yard.
I know that sounds horrible but it was very important for Daniel to connect the feeling of it coming it out. Sorry if this is too detailed. I think it did help him, he only had the sensation of a diaper or pull up. ANYWAY, we had to get out of the pool quickly because a thunder-storm suddenly came up on us and we all ran in the house. I was drying off Daniel to get him dressed and he had a little trickle and I said “Oh, no do you need to go pee? You can’t pee on Grammy’s floor!” He said “Yes, I need to pee.” I said “Come on Boo let’s run to the potty, you can’t pee on Grammy’s floor!” We got to the potty he was doing his business and I was hooting and hollering. “Yea! Daniel you are peeing in the potty! See you CAN do it!” Daniel was giggling and said “I did it! I did it! I peed on the potty! I can pee on the potty!”
I put real undies on him at that point.
I had extra because sometimes Joshua has accidents, thankfully I had them. One thing that I have definitely learned with the kids, is to bring everything, just pack it all up, the whole house because guaranteed the one thing you leave at home is the one thing they want. So I just use my shrink gun and pack it up before I leave, I wish! That happenstance moment was what he needed to connect that he CAN use the potty. Before he would try and try and nothing would happen. He realized that something could happen and all day yesterday he was connecting the sensation before he had to go, we did not have any accidents. It was so awesome to see how proud he was of himself.
I know this is just the beginning but this is a huge milestone that he accomplished.
It was the thing we needed to help him get the connection he needed. It is amazing how things just happen around here. All of the talking, trying, picking out underwear, trying charts, books, videos, social stories, he got it and understood but couldn’t do it. I know he has gotten very upset in the past that his body wasn’t working with him, he would cry and get angry and feel like he was doing something wrong. We would just explain to him that the “trying” was the great thing, we just keep trying and trying. We are not failures if we keep trying. It is a lesson that I have to remind myself a lot.
I am just so proud of him and happy for him having the ability to keep trying.
Wow! I still can’t believe it. It is like the bottle , it took what seemed to be forever but then one day it finally happened. I am hoping it goes as well as the giving up the bottle thing, however, I have to give myself some scripts and remember that it could be good and bad. I hate diapers but at least the mess is all contained and doesn’t get everywhere, I am kind of worried about the whole poo adventures we may have. I do not do well with any bodily function messes but I really do not do well with POO everywhere! I’ll deal with it, it’s not like everyone around here has mastered the potty, since Ariel and Joshua have sensory issues they are very particular about their booties getting clean so I still help them along. At least David and I are good. LOL!
The best part about all of this is Daniel being so proud of himself and seeing that it’s good to keep trying!