My relationship with my Mom has gotten tremendously better since we found out about Daniel. At first my Mom was in denial as well as myself, however, the more I researched and the therapists shared about Daniel, it was very clear that we both understood Daniel very much. We both went on a journey of acceptance, first for Daniel and then for ourselves. Being able to share our feelings or at least be able to say we don’t know what we are feeling has made a big difference. Along with finally understanding some of the reasons why we have responded the way we have in the past, this has given us a clear slate in our relationship.
Discussing Asperger’s and Sensory Integration Disorder with each other has made it possible for us to understand each other better.
We have been able to explain our differences and how situations affect us differently but with similar impact. Through gaining understanding of our different sensory issues and how I am more of an emotional Aspie, while my Mom has more analytical and structured traits, we no longer get hurt by each others actions. Although both of us can cross over in certain situations, it is very hard to pin point one kind of person on the spectrum. We have become very direct with each other asking if it is a sensory issue or whether or not we misinterpreted what we were saying to one another.
I am very thankful that my Mom is supportive and willing to seek her own help in understanding as well.
Although, my Mom will not buy herself any books on the subject of Asperger’s. She wants them and she wants to understand but she seems to not want to spend the funds on them and I am not sure why. I have sent her to numerous blogs, articles and let her read some of my books. She is always comforted and feels so much better realizing that she is indeed not crazy and not the only one. She is not able to share her emotions very well and when she does at times, it just doesn’t come out the way she thinks it does. I understand this, especially now that we have been talking so much about Asperger’s and how clear it seems that we are Aspie’s.
A while ago, I sent her to Rudy Simone’s website, she read through it and took a real interest in one of her books.
It was the Asperger’s on the Job book. I knew she would like that one and I knew it would help her a great deal at work and with explaining a lot of her issues. So I got that book for her for Christmas, I also got her Aspergirls:Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome. I knew my Mom would never buy these books but I also knew that they would be very beneficial for her. She was very happy with the job one but clearly uncomfortable with the Aspergirls book. I am not entirely sure why but I think in her mind it may talk about things that she does not like to talk about, then ignores. I have read through excerpts of it and I do not feel that is the case. I think it will bring great comfort and understanding to her.
She had already read through half of the on the job book the day I gave it to her.
She was very happy and grateful to have it because it was making things make so much sense for her and bringing to light that she is not alone. There are others that understand and she is not wrong for feeling the way she does or in how she responds to things. I hope she finds the same thing in the other book. I admit I did not want to give those books up because I had not read them and I have been waiting for a long time to get both of them, so David said we got some extra funds and it was possible for me to get them too. YEA! They are on their way, another two to add to my reading collection.
My Mom has been thinking about getting a diagnosis.
She has been pondering it for some time now, she does have insurance that would cover it and they offer other benefits for those with autism. She hasn’t said anything in a while because of the holidays and such but maybe after the holidays she will give it some consideration again. I think for her it would be a positive move and possibly help her a lot with getting the support she needs in her workplace. Currently everyone works with her but they think she is very quirky and odd and do not understand why she has meltdowns, they think that she is over sensitive emotionally and that is not the case at all.
Although, with getting the diagnosis there can come people who may be less than understanding.
With all of the good that could come from a diagnosis, she could receive people who are unwilling to accept it because she can be perceived as “too normal”, especially from family members. I really hope that she is able to decide for herself what she wants to do with no one’s influence but what she really feels in her heart. I will support her in whatever her decision. I personally think it would be a good thing for her to do and it could be beneficial in other ways that we have not thought of.
She doesn’t read my blog.
I am perfectly fine with that, but I know that she doesn’t mind what I write on here. She sees it as the same as her paintings, a way to express myself. You would find my Mom in front of the TCM channel watching a black-and-white flick, reading a biography on any 20′s to 50′s actors, crocheting or painting but it is hard to catch her reading a blog. That is why it is such a big deal that she has read the articles and posts that I have sent her.
I am not sure why I wrote this other than being thankful that my Mom and I have come so far, when there used to be a time that we did much better living in different states all together.