Girls and Asperger’s
I have recently picked up the book Asperger’s and Girls and it has opened my eyes to this world. I cannot express into words how it makes me feel to read that I am not alone in my thinking, feeling and confusion about this world and people. I read recently that we are an evolved species that has the triggers for inclusion, belonging is a need that is part of our DNA make up. However, from my point of view inclusion does not mean the same thing as what other people may feel. The problem that I have had with “belonging” is that in order to belong one must conform, it is “become one of us or you are one of them” and frankly I cannot not do that. I like my identity and one thing that makes me the most exuberant person in the world is to see other people be their individual self. When I see someone break out of a mold and find them-self that makes me leap for joy.
Back to the book, Asperger’s and Girls.
It was recommended to me about a year ago and I was finally able to get it. I recommend it to any women on the spectrum. The more I find the more I am both comforted and sad at the same time. I am comforted because I am not the only one and sad because I wish I would have known this stuff a long time ago, it may have helped to prevent heart ache and confusion. As I am reading it though I see a lot of Ariel and how she is more like me than I thought. I am taking the information, I am learning it and filing it away for the years as she grows. I already notice how she will internalize things which I do too and that behavior caused me to be self-destructive and cause bodily harm to myself. I am hoping to give her a healthy self-image and the ability to think and stand up for herself. The goal is to let her know that she has a voice and it is important that she speaks it. I feel the same way for the boys but in this culture we live in, they claim that women have a voice but the dominating factor is the “Old White Christian Male” who will acknowledge a women for her beauty and claim that they are respecting her intelligence.
They let the little lady speak for a little bit but then laugh it off with a ‘isn’t that cute” feeling.
I could be wrong but I don’t think so America seems to still have the good ol ‘ boy mentality, at least where we are currently living. This really is just a rant, I will get back to my topic. First A Side Note: I just want to state here that I am not being overly sensitive to Ariel or Joshua, I am in observation mode. I have been observing Daniel for so long that I have not noticed a lot of things that they were doing. Now that I am understanding Daniel more I have been able to focus on some of their issues that I did not notice before. My goal with all of them is to help them be confident in who they are, understand themselves and grow into independent happy people. Ok, now back to the topic. 
I have been reading several articles and watched this great clip with Dr. Tony Attwood.
\”Ask Dr. Tony\” on Girls with Aspergers – An Autism Hangout Feature Program
As I watched the video, again it was like watching someone describe my life. There are times when I do not know who I am at all because when I go out it is like my mind pulls up the script that I have learned and I automatically go into it. I find myself talking to someone and in my mind I am thinking “This isn’t me, why am I saying this?” Before I know it I am caught up saying things that I don’t agree with or I am confused by. I know that I have adopted scripts from people all along the way of my life and now the act has become so embedded that I don’t realize that I am doing it. I believe this is the majority of my social anxiety, I am unable to be myself because I don’t really know how to other than in my own home. However, this is not really talking about what I meant to talk about either and because I keep getting side tracked I will just leave with several sites and articles that I have found, that seem to have some good information on them.
More Than Just ‘Quirky’
Girls and Asperger’s Syndrome
About the Spectrum (This one has FAQ’s questions 12 & 13 are about females)
Girls with Asperger’s Syndrome
Girls & Women on the Autistic Spectrum
Asperger’s Syndrome in Women: A Different Set of Challenges?
Tags: asperger's girls, social anxiety
