Daily Archives: January 25, 2010

Devastation and Suffering‏

I know that people are effected differently by disasters and sufferings, I am one of those people who has to shut down a bit in order to function when something like the earthquake in Haiti happens. When things like that happen, I feel it deep in my soul. I get very confused by other people’s reactions and they tend to make me very upset, especially when they seem to respond lightly to a situation.

I don’t know if I am going to be able to explain this very well but I will try.

There are many things that happen on a daily basis that are just horrible, sex trafficking, child abuse, people being abused by their partners, natural disasters, war, starvation, the injustice of orphans not being taken care of or left for dead, I could go on but I do need to stop because I can feel my eyes welling up with tears right now. It makes me so upset and I just want to do everything I can to help every single suffering person in the world. I do not have a savior complex, I genuinely want to help and I try to, it is wrong and that upsets me. If someone crosses my path and needs something I give it to them if I have it, if not I try to find it. There is something inside of me, that says that is the right thing to do and I must do it. I feel if I have something to give then it must be given. Now I do not give everything away, obviously we live in a comfortable home and surroundings.

That is the point, we have all we need and we see no reason to live in excess.

I need to get back to my point, when something like the Haiti earthquakes happen I am consumed with cries, images of people suffering, children starving, people losing loved ones on and on and I have not read the news, I try to stay away from the stories because it makes me immobile. For instance, when the 9/11 attacks happened I found out when I arrived at work that morning, I went back to my desk and just started praying. I heard people screaming, I saw people stuck under debris, I felt people in despair wondering if their loved ones were still alive, this was all in my mind, I had not actually seen the visuals anywhere. Maybe the images are all derived from past movies or experiences. I don’t know but I see them and feel them. I felt the fear of people not knowing what was going on.

I didn’t feel it for myself, I felt it for others.

I was fine, I was at peace, but my soul hurt for those suffering. I could do nothing but pray and once again I find myself in the same position. The happenings of the damns breaking after hurricane Katrina, the tsunami, the disappearances of children in our local area, it all hits me and I have to keep myself away from media. I can no longer go into a constant state of prayer or give the time and resources like I did before, now I have a family and my focus has to be on them. I am trying to find the ways I am able to help and still be functional and here for my family. During the times that I was single I could devote everything to causes and make a small difference. It did not take away the intense pain or emotion I felt for people in need but at least I was doing something.

Now it is different and I am trying to find my balance.

I am also learning how to teach my kids to be aware of the suffering in the world and how we as a family can help. I am not being too pushy because they are young, but I am able to teach them how to give their toys, clothes, time, and most importantly just be aware that the world is not really just our house and there are so many different people, places and things out there to take notice of.  I know I am a bit over the top with my emotions when it comes to suffering but there is nothing I can do. I feel it, it goes deep into my bones and overwhelms me.

I tend to get very upset when people seem to forget or act as if it is no big deal.

I remember the day of 9/11 (I am using 9/11 because that was the last time that I was really surrounded by people during a devastation) a co-worker came up to me and said “I am supposed to go on vacation next week, they better not cancel the flights.” I sat there in shock, my heart was burning and my stomach was in a knot. We just witnessed two planes crash into the two towers filled with thousands of people, all that went through my head was what they were going through, what their families were feeling and she was talking about her vacation? I had to walk away and shake off the anger I was feeling, I had to think to myself surely this is how she was handling the stress and fear of this tragedy, she just HAD to be doing that.

I share that because that is one of the reasons for my facebook detox.

I cannot handle reading things like that or people pouring over their lives of work and getting their Starbucks and saying things about getting through to Friday so they can party their way into an oblivion. I know I am harsh but it frustrates me, I know there will always be suffering and devastations such as war and natural disasters but I also know when I need to stay away from people so I don’t get incredibly angry while my heart is praying to God above to fix the injustices in this world.

I am putting up several links that we give to or feel that are good resources to helping those in need.

These are just a few we have given to on a regular basis and others we have given as we are able. There are so many organizations out there whatever we can do to make a small difference, it does make an impact. I did not put up environmental sites but several of the ones I have listed also do things for the environment. I encourage you to research and see where you would like to help, what is it that moves your heart search for it and find the best place  for you to make a difference through the means that you feel best suits you. The charityguide gives a great resource of what you can do now at home to make small changes in your everyday life, it also gives ways to get your children involved. I encourage you to not let the things of daily life cause you to forget our world and also stay balanced in your focus. I am working on that one still. :-) Are there any resources or links you would like to share please leave them in the comments. I am always searching for new ways to give back or try to help others.

For Haiti I found these links, we do give to World Vision and have given to Compassion in the past, but the others I thought were good resources and may be ones you would like to check out.



–To donate $10 to the American Red Cross, text “Haiti” to 90999. The amount will be added to your next phone bill.  The organization is also accepting donations through its International Response Fund: www.redcross.org

— United Nations World Food Program: www.wfp.org

— International Rescue Committee: www.theIRC.org or call toll free: (877) 733-8433

— Doctors Without Borders: www.doctorswithoutborders.org

— Oxfam: www.oxfam.org.uk

— The fundraising drive of former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton: www.clintonbushhaitifund.org

Sex Trafficking and others










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