Forgive My Grammar

I am so obsessive about grammar and no matter how hard I try I cannot remember all of the rules. I get sick to my stomach when I go back read over my posts and see spelling errors and other grammatical errors. It drives me crazy. My issue with this almost stopped me from writing a blog in the first place. I was so terrified that if I messed up then no one would take me seriously.

If I spell a word wrong, I get this lump in my throat and feel nauseous.

I use spell check, sometimes I have David go over my stuff and edit for those things but he misses them too. When I have posted after trusting David to have found all of my mistakes and then find one I get very upset. It really affects me to the point of me thinking I need to just take my blog down because I cannot possibly find all of the mistakes and everyone is going to think I am a moron.

I know my reaction is a bit dramatic but it is truly how I feel.

So to let myself off the hook and be able to continue to write with a limited amount of anxiety in this area, I ask you to forgive all of my errors that you may find. I have come to the point of using my blog to just write what is on my mind and letting it go. I need that freedom but if I continue to beat myself up over  this issue I know I will either spend hours upon hours combing over my every word or I will stop completely because I will feel that it is hopeless.

I do feel a bit of the anxiety lifting from writing this.

Thank you for your understanding and compassion on my inability to be completely grammatically perfect. Now I just need to find a way to forgive myself when I find the errors. :>/

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3 thoughts on “Forgive My Grammar

  1. Saja

    I know the feeling you describe very well – it permeates most aspects of my life. Maybe it’s related to our general Aspie fear of being mocked / laughed at / knocked down on the playground / pointed at with the phrase, “look, she’s gone and screwed it up again, the moron!” followed by laughter / …. ? It’s hard to let that fear go. (And I’m in my 40s!)

    I adore language (read dictionaries for fun…I know, I know ;-) ) – do you, too? If so, then you could do what I do: I constantly look up stuff I’m not sure about. I have online subscriptions to Merriam-Webster (though they have a free version, too) and the Chicago Manual of Style, for grammar and other questions. (I’m a translator.) It’s fun to learn something new about language. But if it’s just a big chore, then by all means just cut yourself some slack if you can – most of the universe won’t notice your mistakes, and those who do will take them in stride, not making them mean anything big. At least if they’re people worth knowing.

    Out of solidarity, I’ve NOT rechecked this comment for typos and errors, which I usually do at least twice on everything I write. :-)
    (Monologue off :-) )

  2. Angel Post author

    I agree with you about the Aspie fear, I believe that a lot of this manifests because of my past experiences. I have had experiences just as you have described in your comment and not only in my childhood, well into my adult life as well.

    Yes, I love language, words make me happy. I like finding new ones and reading different definitions. I believe my mom helped nurture that because as a child she read to me all the time. Some of our bedtime’s books consisted of children’s encyclopedias and dictionary’s. She encouraged me to find new words all the time and pronounce them. My love for writing has continued to enhance my intrigue of language. I have been very unsuccessful in learning other languages though. I have tried but I seem just unable to grasp them. However, I enjoy listening to people speak in different languages.

    I am always looking up words; the internet has made me a bit obsessive at times because now I can go look anything up that I want to in a second. I will research and read all day if I don’t force myself to stop. I found a very interesting book that I have enjoyed. It is called “The Superior Person’s Book of Words” by Peter Bowler. I have enjoyed reading all of the different words and definitions. You can look inside on the Amazon link:

    http://www.amazon.com/Superior-Persons-Book-Words/dp/087923556X

    I went on the Chicago Manual of Style today and it looks like a great new resource.

    Thanks for the encouragement and not rechecking for typos or errors! :-)

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