Daily Archives: January 5, 2010

Forgive My Grammar

I am so obsessive about grammar and no matter how hard I try I cannot remember all of the rules. I get sick to my stomach when I go back read over my posts and see spelling errors and other grammatical errors. It drives me crazy. My issue with this almost stopped me from writing a blog in the first place. I was so terrified that if I messed up then no one would take me seriously.

If I spell a word wrong, I get this lump in my throat and feel nauseous.

I use spell check, sometimes I have David go over my stuff and edit for those things but he misses them too. When I have posted after trusting David to have found all of my mistakes and then find one I get very upset. It really affects me to the point of me thinking I need to just take my blog down because I cannot possibly find all of the mistakes and everyone is going to think I am a moron.

I know my reaction is a bit dramatic but it is truly how I feel.

So to let myself off the hook and be able to continue to write with a limited amount of anxiety in this area, I ask you to forgive all of my errors that you may find. I have come to the point of using my blog to just write what is on my mind and letting it go. I need that freedom but if I continue to beat myself up over  this issue I know I will either spend hours upon hours combing over my every word or I will stop completely because I will feel that it is hopeless.

I do feel a bit of the anxiety lifting from writing this.

Thank you for your understanding and compassion on my inability to be completely grammatically perfect. Now I just need to find a way to forgive myself when I find the errors. :>/

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Mr. Nathaniel Pawthorn

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I have been telling David for some time now that I wanted a cat. I love cats, I am obsessed with cats. I have always loved cats and have managed to have one in my adult life most of the time. My mother dislikes cats very much but she did let me have one as a teenager for a while but that did not turn out very well so we had to get rid of her. My mother was not really an animal person as I was growing up but when my sisters were young and I was out of the house she did get a dog and has had one-off and on for about 17 yrs. (She was only without one for a year.)

I love almost any animal.

I am not the biggest fan of birds but whenever I get around them my heart does melt. I don’t know why but I seem to relate more to animals than people. I find myself mimicking them when I am around them. I start to do their mannerisms and facial expressions. I do it at the zoo, at a pet store,or even when I am at a person’s house who has an animal. At social events I gravitate to kids and animals and seem to keep my distance from the adults. They just make me feel better and I feel like I have more in common them.

I do talk to animals, all the time, well I talk to plants too but that is another post.

Although my mother didn’t care for animals she let me have a few growing up. I had a couple dogs, not at the same time, but that always ended badly. I had two hamsters and I also had a gerbil, which was a BIG deal because my mom cannot stand any kind of rodent looking creature. They all had to stay in my room, hidden from her sight and I had to keep their cages very clean.

So it should be no surprise to me that both Daniel and Ariel are obsessed with our new cat.

However, I do find it strange because now I am observing my own behavior through them and to see it now I understand why others find it so strange. Thank goodness David thinks it is a funny quirk that I have. The kids however, are finding the balance between mirroring an animal and being a human. Ariel stopped talking for half the day when Natey arrived and embodied the cat persona. We had to address that because it is a little annoying trying to figure out what she wants when she is capable of telling us or when we almost fall because she is crawling under our feet. Daniel likes to make the cat run and then he runs just like the cat. He mimics the cats meow and it can be a bit loud.

Joshua talks to the cat.

He has spent all of his time teaching the cat how to play Lego’s and just having full conversations about whatever comes to his mind. He then comes to me and tells me everything he just told the cat. One of the reasons we got Natey was for pet therapy for Daniel, but I need to be a bit honest here, I was needing him. There is something about watching cats that makes me so happy. I love to watch them walk, hearing them talk, I enjoy so much when they bounce and play and we have an amazing little guy who lets us rub his belly and isn’t skittish at all. I had two black cats that I loved dearly and were my companions for over 8 yrs., Felix and Alexa. We had to give them up after the children were born because they just could not adjust to the kids and were getting very aggressive. I am still heartbroken over that situation. I am very happy that we found a kitty that works in our family now.

Nathaniel seems to really love us as much as we love him.

He sits in the midst of Daniel banging, spinning, being loud and obsessing about touching his tail. He doesn’t mind at all that Ariel is following him around every room on all fours and trying to eat her food like him. He seems very content to listen to all that Joshua has to say while throwing his Batman’s all around him yelling “AAAHHH, Batman”. And he has adjusted quite well to David and I picking him up and cuddling him, telling  him that all of those things are ok, “we are here to save you”.

Nathaniel is a sophisticated tuxedo cat who has just made our family very happy.

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