Mind Retrofit

I have a very long post waiting to be published about Christmas but I am saving it for a day when I am not so intense about it. There are many things about Christmas that bother me and I wrote that post talking about those things.

This post will reflect my joy about Christmas, kind of.

I have come around a bit when it comes to this time of year, the main reason is my children. I do love seeing them get excited and enjoy all of the decorations at Grammy’s house and the houses in neighborhoods. I take delight in their shouts of “Oh, my gosh Mom look at that!” It really makes me smile to hear them.

My kids have softened my heart quite a bit.

In another post I had shared that it was in the last several years that we had gotten a Christmas tree. I actually had no intention of ever getting a tree or decorations of any sorts. David managed to convince me otherwise and as the kids have gotten older they have shown such an interest that I caved. I do not like to decorate, I do not like having to put ornaments and lights on the tree. We got a fake tree because there is no way I can handle a real one.

I can’t take the overwhelming smell of pine among other things.

David puts the tree together for me and would put on the lights but I have to take them off every time and redo them so it is pointless and I just do it. Even though I really dislike doing it and find it to be the worst part of the whole tree thing. For some reason it just sends me into sensory overload and by the time we put on the ornaments I am grouchy and angry and just want to be done.

I try really hard to be happy so the kids can enjoy the decorating process but it is hard.

Every year I get a little better so maybe by the time they are teens I will enjoy the decorating process, maybe. I am already feeling overwhelmed but excited at the same time. I can’t wait for Christmas morning but then I also have this dread because no matter how hard I try I still get hit with sensory overload and have to fight checking out in my zone for the rest of the day.

Daniel has a hard time too.

He loves the presents and last year he really got involved. But the day is completely off and he is hit with sensory overload as well. I will do my best to help both of us ahead of time. Hopefully both of us will be able to enjoy the whole day and the whole family.

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