After writing about the holiday season, I have discovered yet another root of my issue with Christmas and holidays. Lack of routine. No matter how hard I try when October comes my routine gets all out of whack. Though I am at peace and there is a strange calmness, there is a constant state of anxiety. Weird? I start to anticipate what the next month brings and then the next. Nothing gets back to normal until after New Year’s.
Every one and everything starts to get chaotic.
People are having parties, going out-of-town, decorating their house inside and out. It’s like I can feel the changes that have been made in my neighborhood without even seeing it. (the electromagnetic spectrum is all out of whack around here) People feel different I feel this vibe in the air, not a bad one per se but something. It just does not feel like it normally does. I go through the same thing when summer starts. I just feel something different and it makes me unable to get into my normal routine the closer it gets to Thanksgiving and then Christmas.
I know Daniel goes through it too.
All of us do, I can even see it in the kids at church. They all start to get just a little bit wild right before Christmas, right before summer break and right before school starts again. Holidays brings an instability to everyone. Stores, churches, businesses, libraries etc.. They all start to change during these times and doing programs or parties or something that is not their normal routine.
People do not follow normal eating patterns, they tend to eat more sweets and so do their children.
I believe because of this everyone is much more edgy. They tend to eat out a lot more , not exercise like they normally would and not sleep regularly because of the other factors, I know that has an effect on their minds, bodies and spirits. Not to mention the added stress to get presents, see family, all the social events, along with trying to stay in the normal work, school, and home routine. Them being off makes me feel incredibly tense and REALLY unable to read any social cues.
I am usually a nervous wreck during holidays.
Any social skills I have are out the window during this time because there are too many sensory things going on and now I have the added heightened awareness of how my children are off. They are feeling my uneasiness, David’s and all of the other people too. All of the lights, colors, decorations, red and green colors that tend to be very bright, the crowds that are not usually there and everything else that is going. Now I understand why I do not want to leave my house from October to January. It actually had never occurred to me until now.
The days before Christmas were pretty rough around here.
Daniel had been waking up through the night the past two weeks, in not so pleasant ways and he was having melt downs throughout the week. The day before Christmas we spent about four hours trying to help him find his peace. He finally calmed down around bedtime but woke up through the night. Christmas morning he was happy as could be. Now going on the fourth day, he has been incredibly happy. He has been playing, talking, socializing and eating again. My theory is he was feeling all of this anticipation from all of us. I would even say I am the biggest problem here.
I need to work on my anxiety and finding ways to comfort myself to help everyone here feel a bit more at ease. Now I know and will try to prepare for next year.