As I am sitting here, I am thinking about the weather cooling, the leaves changing, the darkness coming sooner and the soft light that is above our front door. The light is too bright to look at directly but the light beams bouncing off the walls to bring in just enough light, hovering over me as I sit in my shadowy hallway that has been converted into my office, brings me comfort and peace.

There is something about this time of year that just makes me smile.

I am not one for the cold, the smallest change in temperature can make me miserable. I am a very summer person. The cold makes the very core of my body hurt and when wind hits me it feels like sharp pieces of glass stabbing my flesh. But there are certain times when I am bundled up just enough to enjoy the cool air and the breeze hitting my face is nice.

I enjoy the fall season because it leads into so many great things.

October has always been a happy time for me but the strange thing is, it is a sad time also. I am not sure what it is, but my whole life I have gotten sad at the beginning of October through to December. I start to notice a change in January and then my sadness seems to lift. I have no reason that I am aware of to feel this way. Here is the strange thing, I feel completely at peace during that stretch also. My mood is usually a consistent calm. I am genuinely happy and at peace, but with a foreboding of sadness.

I don’t know what it is, it just happens.

During this time I see a lot of shadows. I like looking at the shadows. I enjoy the way the sky looks different. I feel a surreal calm when I look at the moon during this season. The sky at night has a different feel and everything seems to have colors day and night that are just full and rich. I feel like the earth is comforting me. I feel a closeness to God as I step outside as though I see Him looking deep into my eyes and saying “Hi there”.

I tend to look up in the sky a lot and say “Hi, thanks for this beauty”.

The shadows don’t scare me they make me feel comforted. I am at peace. My mind is calm. Looking forward to celebrating the twins birthday, having a day just full of family togetherness on Thanksgiving, reflecting on this past year being thankful, preparing for Christmas and just basking in the joy of the several months out of the year that I am not feeling constant chaos in my mind.

So as I look at the shadows that surround me,  I am also comforted in knowing I am no longer alone in the shadows.

Be the first to like.

Like

Unlike

This entry was posted on Monday, October 19th, 2009 at 7:37 pm and is filed under Finding My Quirks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.