Yesterday evening Daniel actually played with Joshua while I made dinner. He was talking the whole time to Joshua. It was awesome. This was after the “color wheel incident”. Later David was planning on making a quick trip to Target. We had no plans of all of us going, but Daniel heard us say Target and he said: “I want to go to Target”. I said ok, because he never asks. He told me he was going bye-bye, getting in the car, and going to Target. I had no idea how it was going to go. The last time we all went to Target Daniel flipped out and literally hit me so hard a bunch of times that my face and chest had hand print marks and David had to take him outside to the car.

So I was a little apprehensive about going again.

We went and it was the best experience I have ever had shopping as a family. As we were walking in, Daniel pointed to the big lighted bullseye and said “Target”. Then, he spelled it for me. The letters were under the bullseye, but he was telling me about the letter “T” and that is the letter we have been learning this week.

This was the first time we didn’t put them all in a cart.

We let them walk and look at everything. They showed us stuff and touch the items. Daniel was so happy he took me down all the aisles and talked to me. He kept picking up spinning toys and I told him we’re not going to get them. He put them back. They did get to pick one toy and he found a ball filled with water and blue sparkles so it moves all around, it’s pretty cool. When he was done with the toys he said: “Want to go home now”. I told him we had a few more items to get and to get him focused on something else I said: “Hey, there is the Halloween stuff”. We went and checked it out and he saw things that he was not comfortable with, but he comforted himself by walking by the items and saying: “It’s ok”.

I continued to tell them that they were not real and there is nothing to be afraid of.

We don’t tell our kids to be afraid of ghosts and goblins and all that jazz. We do not celebrate Halloween, but we do talk about how others do and why some people do. Although we do have some issues with us as Believers celebrating this holiday our main reasons for not celebrating Halloween is what our society has made it into. We are not comfortable with saying: “This one night it is ok for you to go to all of these strangers houses and get candy” when every other day of the year we are saying don’t talk to strangers, don’t take candy from strangers, don’t go near dead, yucky things, but this night it’s ok. We have gone once to a church event for the bouncy houses because they love them, but no candy and sweets. The church people thought I was awful.

What a horrible mom I am. Hm…

We don’t see the point of spending money on costumes for the night. We prefer to wait until they all go on clearance and then use them for dress up. My biggest beef with Halloween is that it is about CANDY! At least for kids in America. We don’t eat candy so there is no point in doing it. Besides there is so much more to Halloween, for me it is not as simple as just let the kids have fun, eat candy and get dressed up. When they are older and we get more into different beliefs I want them to understand what Halloween is about not what it has been reduced down to.

I would like them to know the history behind it.

The understanding of the pagan holiday is important to me and having them understand it not fear it. I believe that is some of my AS kicking in. I can’t let it go. I have another whole issue about Christmas. Last year was the first year we had a tree. I won’t go into that. I don’t have a problem with others joining in all the different festivities it’s just not for us. We do our own thing for each holiday.

Sorry for the soapbox. Back to the story.

Everything went great the kids were all worn out and ready to go, we had all of the items, so on to the check out. There was the conveyor belt. Daniel gets obsessed with them and goes behind the registers and freaks people out. He did that last night, but he listened when I told him he couldn’t do that then, he found a spinning airplane. I told him that he couldn’t get it, but he was determined and in the end we decided this was not a battle we wanted to take on. It just wasn’t worth it to ruin the whole night by not allowing him to get a spinning thing. He did really well throughout the store putting things back so we feel we made the right choice. We went home and they went to bed. It was all so pleasant and I am still beaming with joy that we all got to enjoy going to Target.

Small steps, but leaps and bounds!

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Yesterday was awesome. We had one of those perfect days where all just went right. I have been having a hard time the last couple weeks with getting focused and staying on schedule. I have done it but it has been very hard. During the day I have had to take many breaks and stim.

The hardest thing for me is that the sensory input that Daniel needs happens to be the very things that sends my sensory issues into a tail spin. It has been really getting to me lately hence my expression of hate toward chalk. I want so much for my issues not to effect my children and I try very hard to do what I need to so I will not be irritable and have a melt down myself. I prayed the night before “God please help me spend the whole day with the kids, please help me just sit and be able to focus”.

My prayer was answered.

I was able to just sit and focus most of the day. I caught myself a few times running over to the computer and getting sucked into researching something but then I would realize what I was doing then get up and walk away. There were differences throughout the day though. Such as Daniel playing with Ariel and Joshua in the morning while I was getting breakfast ready. He continued to play with them after breakfast. Then he had enough and asked for a bath. After his bath he took a little break on the computer.

Ariel asked me to read a bunch of books that was not on our school schedule, I chucked the school schedule and went with their flow.

Joshua had asked me to play with him with his action figures and we all did. Daniel was still taking a break during lunch but he continued to come out and play a little then go back. During this time David had found a really cool online art program and we purchased it. (I have been looking for art curriculum and supplements.)
Here is the link: http://www.madcaplogic.com/index.php It was fantastic we all sat at the computer and learned about hue,variation, saturation, Issac Newton and how he used music notes for color. And on and on.

Then came the spinning color wheel.

Daniel wouldn’t stop and he started to get a bit aggressive so I had to stop the art lessons. I had Ariel and Joshua play together then I took Daniel to his room and sat with him. He was angry and hitting me so I just started to sing and clap “what does Boo want mommy to do, huh?” Over and over again I sang it and he jumped on his bed then he started laughing. He ended up singing it with me. When I could see he was going to be ok, we went into the living and played with Ariel and Joshua.

He snapped out of it!

The great thing is he can tell me colors on a color wheel and knows that if you mix colors you get other colors. We will work on the fact that the color wheel is not just for spinning but the big news is he was able to come out of it and let the color wheel go. All of that plus we had an adventure at Target too!

Side note: I really do not like sharing about Daniel’s melt downs. It breaks my heart that he goes through them I have been able to discern the difference between a melt down and a tantrum and I am handling them both the same way. I try to get a sense of his feelings that day and either just sit with him while he works it out, sing, get him focused on a spinning thing, or some other toy. I do whatever I can to help him get back to the state where he can show me what he needs or let it go. As with everything some days work better than others. And we take it one day at a time. He is such a sweet boy and afterwards he feels so bad I just try to support him as best as I can. He does not mean to be agressive I sometimes can see him struggle with trying not to.

I can totally relate because I have done the same thing my whole life. I wish I would have had some one help me during those times instead of fueling my fire. David is an incredible support for me and has helped me a lot in this area. So I guess you can say I have learned how to help Daniel through David’s love and patience.

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