09/25/09

Yeah, Target!

Yesterday evening Daniel actually played with Joshua while I made dinner. He was talking the whole time to Joshua. It was awesome. This was after the “color wheel incident”. Later David was planning on making a quick trip to Target. We had no plans of all of us going, but Daniel heard us say Target and he said: “I want to go to Target”. I said ok, because he never asks. He told me he was going bye-bye, getting in the car, and going to Target. I had no idea how it was going to go. The last time we all went to Target Daniel flipped out and literally hit me so hard a bunch of times that my face and chest had hand print marks and David had to take him outside to the car.

So I was a little apprehensive about going again.

We went and it was the best experience I have ever had shopping as a family. As we were walking in, Daniel pointed to the big lighted bullseye and said “Target”. Then, he spelled it for me. The letters were under the bullseye, but he was telling me about the letter “T” and that is the letter we have been learning this week.

This was the first time we didn’t put them all in a cart.

We let them walk and look at everything. They showed us stuff and touch the items. Daniel was so happy he took me down all the aisles and talked to me. He kept picking up spinning toys and I told him we’re not going to get them. He put them back. They did get to pick one toy and he found a ball filled with water and blue sparkles so it moves all around, it’s pretty cool. When he was done with the toys he said: “Want to go home now”. I told him we had a few more items to get and to get him focused on something else I said: “Hey, there is the Halloween stuff”. We went and checked it out and he saw things that he was not comfortable with, but he comforted himself by walking by the items and saying: “It’s ok”.

I continued to tell them that they were not real and there is nothing to be afraid of.

We don’t tell our kids to be afraid of ghosts and goblins and all that jazz. We do not celebrate Halloween, but we do talk about how others do and why some people do. Although we do have some issues with us as Believers celebrating this holiday our main reasons for not celebrating Halloween is what our society has made it into. We are not comfortable with saying: “This one night it is ok for you to go to all of these strangers houses and get candy” when every other day of the year we are saying don’t talk to strangers, don’t take candy from strangers, don’t go near dead, yucky things, but this night it’s ok. We have gone once to a church event for the bouncy houses because they love them, but no candy and sweets. The church people thought I was awful.

What a horrible mom I am. Hm…

We don’t see the point of spending money on costumes for the night. We prefer to wait until they all go on clearance and then use them for dress up. My biggest beef with Halloween is that it is about CANDY! At least for kids in America. We don’t eat candy so there is no point in doing it. Besides there is so much more to Halloween, for me it is not as simple as just let the kids have fun, eat candy and get dressed up. When they are older and we get more into different beliefs I want them to understand what Halloween is about not what it has been reduced down to.

I would like them to know the history behind it.

The understanding of the pagan holiday is important to me and having them understand it not fear it. I believe that is some of my AS kicking in. I can’t let it go. I have another whole issue about Christmas. Last year was the first year we had a tree. I won’t go into that. :) I don’t have a problem with others joining in all the different festivities it’s just not for us. We do our own thing for each holiday.

Sorry for the soapbox. Back to the story.

Everything went great the kids were all worn out and ready to go, we had all of the items, so on to the check out. There was the conveyor belt. Daniel gets obsessed with them and goes behind the registers and freaks people out. He did that last night, but he listened when I told him he couldn’t do that then, he found a spinning airplane. I told him that he couldn’t get it, but he was determined and in the end we decided this was not a battle we wanted to take on. It just wasn’t worth it to ruin the whole night by not allowing him to get a spinning thing. He did really well throughout the store putting things back so we feel we made the right choice. We went home and they went to bed. It was all so pleasant and I am still beaming with joy that we all got to enjoy going to Target.

Small steps, but leaps and bounds!


 

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09/25/09

Color Wheel

Yesterday was awesome. We had one of those perfect days where all just went right. I have been having a hard time the last couple weeks with getting focused and staying on schedule. I have done it but it has been very hard. During the day I have had to take many breaks and stim.

The hardest thing for me is that the sensory input that Daniel needs happens to be the very things that sends my sensory issues into a tail spin. It has been really getting to me lately hence my expression of hate toward chalk. I want so much for my issues not to effect my children and I try very hard to do what I need to so I will not be irritable and have a melt down myself. I prayed the night before “God please help me spend the whole day with the kids, please help me just sit and be able to focus”.

My prayer was answered.

I was able to just sit and focus most of the day. I caught myself a few times running over to the computer and getting sucked into researching something but then I would realize what I was doing then get up and walk away. There were differences throughout the day though. Such as Daniel playing with Ariel and Joshua in the morning while I was getting breakfast ready. He continued to play with them after breakfast. Then he had enough and asked for a bath. After his bath he took a little break on the computer.

Ariel asked me to read a bunch of books that was not on our school schedule, I chucked the school schedule and went with their flow.

Joshua had asked me to play with him with his action figures and we all did. Daniel was still taking a break during lunch but he continued to come out and play a little then go back. During this time David had found a really cool online art program and we purchased it. (I have been looking for art curriculum and supplements.)
Here is the link: http://www.madcaplogic.com/index.php It was fantastic we all sat at the computer and learned about hue,variation, saturation, Issac Newton and how he used music notes for color. And on and on.

Then came the spinning color wheel.

Daniel wouldn’t stop and he started to get a bit aggressive so I had to stop the art lessons. I had Ariel and Joshua play together then I took Daniel to his room and sat with him. He was angry and hitting me so I just started to sing and clap “what does Boo want mommy to do, huh?” Over and over again I sang it and he jumped on his bed then he started laughing. He ended up singing it with me. When I could see he was going to be ok, we went into the living and played with Ariel and Joshua.

He snapped out of it!

The great thing is he can tell me colors on a color wheel and knows that if you mix colors you get other colors. We will work on the fact that the color wheel is not just for spinning but the big news is he was able to come out of it and let the color wheel go. All of that plus we had an adventure at Target too!

Side note: I really do not like sharing about Daniel’s melt downs. It breaks my heart that he goes through them I have been able to discern the difference between a melt down and a tantrum and I am handling them both the same way. I try to get a sense of his feelings that day and either just sit with him while he works it out, sing, get him focused on a spinning thing, or some other toy. I do whatever I can to help him get back to the state where he can show me what he needs or let it go. As with everything some days work better than others. And we take it one day at a time. He is such a sweet boy and afterwards he feels so bad I just try to support him as best as I can. He does not mean to be agressive I sometimes can see him struggle with trying not to.

I can totally relate because I have done the same thing my whole life. I wish I would have had some one help me during those times instead of fueling my fire. David is an incredible support for me and has helped me a lot in this area. So I guess you can say I have learned how to help Daniel through David’s love and patience.

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09/22/09

“I want to draw”

What are you kidding me? After my whole moment of feeling like a failure and that Daniel may never progress from where he was two days ago, I hear the words “I want to draw”. I am amazed! We are on our fourth week of home schooling and Daniel has been in and out with us off and on for days. It just so happened yesterday morning I was pretty frustrated and feeling like he would never pick up a writing instrument, so I gently but with a little humph held his hand and “helped” him write with a marker. Not good.

He threw the markers at me and screamed.

I let him go about his business and let him do what he needed to do to forgive me. What does that mean? He went into the other room and focused on the computer. However, he came back. He spent a large portion of the day with us, listening to the stories and watching what we were doing.

David purchased two Crayola Dry Erase Activity Centers. He found them on clearance at Target. Ariel and Joshua have been using them and Daniel has been watching.

Here is the link to see it.

http://www.crayola.com/products/splash/educator/dry_erase_activity_center/index.cfm

This morning he brought it to me and asked to use it. Delighted I jumped up and got it already for him. He got the pen and made straight lines while saying “making lines”. Then I made horizontal lines and he did it too! Then he made a J and colored in the lines of a color wheel. This all came about after a package we received yesterday afternoon.

Our “Handwriting Without Tears” curriculum.

Everyone was excited I opened the box and pulled the items out. As I looked through them I was in a slight state of shock that Daniel sat there the whole time to see what was going on. He normally doesn’t really pay much attention and usually goes back to whatever he was doing. The coolest thing in the box was MAT MAN!

They give you wood pieces to make letters but you also make MAT MAN.

Here is a picture of him.

http://shopping.hwtears.com/matmanshirt

We made him and others Daniel even made a person. HUGE! Then I showed them how to make letters and we all made letters together. In the morning they pulled it all out right away and began making MAT MAN. I asked Daniel to make a T and he did and then an L and he did. I was very surprised because he doesn’t do this. However the day just got better. The set also comes with small chalk boards and chalk. I pulled those out and Daniel loved it! He loves chalk. I would have never thought because I HATE CHALK!

Chalk hurts my ears, makes my skin crawl, the very thought makes my whole body cringe.

I had a very hard time but I forced myself to be calm and not freak out every time they made a sound with that vile writing instrument that has been my enemy since I entered the classroom. All of them had an awesome time writing letters and making faces. Daniel made a T and an A all by himself without me asking. They got tired of doing it after a couple hours (that is big too) and we put it away and went about our other tasks for the day.

Before I started dinner Daniel came up to me with the bag of chalk and said “I want to draw”.

My boy who would not touch anything to do with writing just yesterday not to mention years, asked me to draw today. It just goes to show me that when Daniel is ready he will do it and HE knows when he is ready. Note to self: “Don’t sweat it mom.” :)

Here is the link to an overview of all the grade levels for handwriting without tears so you can check it out. We got the Pre-K and Kindergarten curriculum. They go up to fifth grade.

http://www.hwtears.com/bts/gradelevel

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09/19/09

Reminding Myself

There are days sometimes weeks where I get pretty down when it comes to Daniel’s progress. They are the times when we have struggled and he seems like he is never going to talk normal, go potty on the toilet, eat different kinds of food, or write with a pen, EVER! During those times when I am feeling that I have to find ways to remind myself that what I am feeling is not true.

Today is one of those days.

The last two weeks have been pretty rough because the kids have been sick and we have started this new school schedule. We are all trying to get on track and get with the groove. When  Daniel doesn’t participate I get so frustrated and hard on myself. I begin to think I haven’t done enough. I am not helping him enough. I feel like a failure.

The truth gets clouded with my own sensory issues and AS stuff.

It seems that I go through cycles in my mind where everything is great and I can see all of the progress in Daniel. Then I get hit with “OMG he is never going to get there!”  Which is not true at at all. When I sit down and rationally look at it he has not regressed in over a year. He has been progressing in every area. Other people can see it but I don’t. At this very moment he is playing with Joshua. He is talking to him, he is telling him about jumping as they jump on the bed. (the mattress is on the floor no box spring) He has been with us all day, he hasn’t secluded himself with the computer once or gone into a different room.

He has been talking to me and playing with us all day.

Why do I feel like I am failing him? Why do I get so down and have panic attacks about his progress? I have so many other questions and fears fill my mind but I am choosing not to listen to them. Instead I am going to fix my mind on what is really happening here. Any progress is HUGE! As I think of that I am reminded of Daniel uttering the words I once thought would never escape his lips. “I love you”.

I didn’t have to say it first, I didn’t have to do anything.

One afternoon Daniel looked at me straight in the eyes and said “I love you”. I am reminded of this because he said it again this afternoon. Not only did he say that but he was letting me kiss his face and then he in turn kissed mine. He kept kissing my cheeks and then gave me a kiss on the lips. Two years ago Daniel wouldn’t let us hug him, let alone kiss him. He barely even acknowledged any of us. He would spend hours all by himself in his room and not want anything to do with us.

So when I feel this way again I need to read this so I am reminded of the time I once thought he would never, because I need to remember HE WILL.

 

A True Gift

A joyful day I must express,
The words professed from my sons own lips.

My heart skipped a beat and to my surprise,
My son who often doesn’t speak looked in my eyes;

Then he professed the words to me
The words I didn’t know if he knew, you see.

The words “I love you” were spoken to me
From my boy who is finally getting free.

It Can Get Better

Calling his name over and over again,
Looking at me blankly…

My God is he there?

Talking and talking still no response.
Crying and praying make this all stop!

Does he know me?

Will he be a part of our world?

Kicking and screaming once again,
He can’t tell me what he needs.

Endless tears, it feels like eternity.
Is this the life for him and me?

People don’t know some don’t care,
As I watch my son feeling despair.

Days I have cried and shouted out loud,
Help my boy make him alright!

Stop his pain just let him be able to play.
Let him have friends and be ok!

But the light shown through and I saw a glimpse.
Never give up, no not a chance.

I know he hears, feels, and sees.
He is a child just like any other who is free.

Free from the burdens of a different mind,
But I wouldn’t change him; not on your life!

My little boy is coming out,
Speaking his words and playing about.

Laughter fills his mouth and a smile is there.

My little boy trying new things.
We are moving on, we won’t be the same.

He has shown me what true love really is.
It breaks my heart and fills me with joy.

I jump up and down because he tried new food!

I get a huge smile when he speaks to me,
some of these things I thought would never be.

Tears fill my eyes because I am so happy.
Daniel is who he is supposed to be.

Everyday is better,
Every moment I cherish.

What a God send he has been for me.

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09/16/09

Some More Books

There are so many books I have read and there are so many out there on homeschooling, gluten-free diet, healthy eating, Asperger’s and sensory integration. I have put links to several throughout my different blog posts but I felt these too were great resources to have and share with you. I put the Amazon links to them because you can look inside and check them out. We usually purchase ours used unless we are unable to find it used.

Asperger’s

Asperger Syndrome and Sensory Issues: Practical Solutions for Making Sense of the World

http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Sensory-Issues-Practical/dp/0967251478/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253138340&sr=8-2

1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders

http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Raising-Children-Spectrum-Disorders/dp/1932565191/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253135599&sr=8-2

Asperger Syndrome And Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions For Tantrums, Rage And Meltdowns

http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Difficult-Moments-Practical/dp/1931282706/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253135666&sr=1-1

Sensory Integration

Raising a Sensory Smart Child: The Definitive Handbook for Helping Your Child with Sensory Integration Issues

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Sensory-Smart-Child-Integration/dp/014303488X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253135750&sr=1-2

The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun, Revised Edition: Activities for Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder

http://www.amazon.com/Out-Sync-Child-Has-Revised/dp/0399532714/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253135811&sr=1-2

The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, Revised Edition

http://www.amazon.com/Out-Sync-Child-Recognizing-Processing/dp/0399531653/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253135811&sr=1-1

Nutrition/Gluten-free

I only have a cookbook all the other books I read on gluten free were from the library. Here are a few great links.

http://www.gfcf.com/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gluten-free-diet/DG00063

http://www.celiac.com/

Even if you don’t have celiac disease these are good sites with a lot of info.

Gluten-Free Cooking For Dummies (For Dummies (Cooking))

http://www.amazon.com/Gluten-Free-Cooking-Dummies/dp/0470178108/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253136454&sr=1-1

The Family Nutrition Book: Everything You Need to Know About Feeding Your Children - From Birth through Adolescence

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Nutrition-Book-Everything-Adolescence/dp/B000EHSMKE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253136611&sr=1-1

Home school

Raising Bookworms: Getting Kids Reading for Pleasure and Empowerment

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Bookworms-Getting-Pleasure-Empowerment/dp/098158330X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253136698&sr=1-1

Math & Science for Young Children

http://www.amazon.com/Science-Young-Children-Rosalind-Charlesworth/dp/1428375864/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253137371&sr=1-1

We got the Math & Science for Young Children used, we paid less than half I think we got it on half.com but I can’t remember.

Words Their Way: Word Study for Phonics, Vocabulary, and Spelling Instruction (4th Edition)

http://www.amazon.com/Words-Their-Way-Vocabulary-Instruction/dp/013223968X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253136866&sr=1-1

We got this one used too.

There is no need to buy every book on the market but David and I both have “special interests” (ie. obsession) in teaching our children and anything to do with AS. The best thing to do is check out different books and resources and see which ones best suit you. Every person has a different journey, each AS person and child is different and no one should ever feel obligated to do what other people do. Always seek out things and resources that fit your personality and ways that you learn and teach. Be yourself even when trying to find answers. Onward on our journey!


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09/10/09

Identity Lost, Identity Found

Who are you?
What are you doing here?
I look at you in the mirror but I don’t recognize you.

Where is me?
Lost in the midst of group mentality?
Found in a hedge of defiance.
I have to grasp myself again.

Stripped down to nothing to regain my soul.
Vision and life set to the tune of real.
Cannot sit and take it anymore
Status quo is not who I am!

Kicking and screaming
It’s too hard to believe
Own selfish motives trying to make me into you.

Gasp at the thought.

Oh, my God it’s true!

Breaking out of your devilish scheme
Here I am the real me.

Identity lost
True identity found

Thanks for the adventure
On to a new journey.

Look in the mirror,
Oh, there you are
All stripped down and naked again.

Embracing rejection the joy of pain.
I’d rather be me and not have you;
than live hating myself.

Shaking off the dust.

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09/10/09

Possibilities

Destined for creativity.
A purposeful plan.
No other human but me can withstand.

All meant for me a great deal to do.
Love and adventure set before me,
It’s true!

I have a passion
A desire
A dream

You can’t take it.
It must be seen.

Don’t try to stop me!
Don’t tell me no!

Who are you anyway?
You think you know best?
Nothing but mediocre.
Possibly less.

I got to move,
I got to go.
If I don’t do it I’ll never know.

Life in a moment,
Truth in my grasp.
Nothing can stop me,
I have passed the test!

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09/10/09

Wandering Butterfly

Riding on the wind, so free and real.
Can’t break my soul, I’m ever so still.

Constant chatter of nonsense–No depth
You call this freedom, I call it death.

Bondage is broken, lives are changed.
Power of oneness; but you complain.

Only you are right?
Your truth shall remain?
We need to evolve, look at all the pain.

We cannot sit back–Watch and play
While countless people wither away.

For the sake of your soap box;
you will not love?
Good bye religion and your fake love!

A God who says you are good.
A God who loves you with no strings.
Let real love flow from wandering beings.

New life in you of love, joy, and peace.
Real love empowers, strengthens, and helps your needs.

Wandering butterfly, where have you been?

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09/4/09

Back to Home School

We just started our new home school schedule this week. I have had some good days and bad days but over all there have been some really incredible things happening. I am trying not to ruin those moments with my freaky issues about getting everything on my list accomplished and sticking to exact times. I so wish my brain would calm down on those things and allow me to just enjoy the time I am having with my kids.

I have had meltdowns this week just as much as the kids.

A schedule is very hard for me to create on my own but I know that I desperately need one for my sake and the kids sake. It just causes me so much stress and anxiety to think of a schedule but when I do make one then I get all anxious if I don’t follow it or if the kids cause me not to follow it. It totally ruins my day, my mood and my train of thought. I have to fight to get back into it. I will just keep pressing on because I know it is the best for everyone.

I will focus on the positive. (try)

This week I have found out how much my kids do already know it has been great. Ariel and Joshua are really into it until about the afternoon then they are ready to stop. Daniel traced shapes, letters, and colored inside the lines for me in a picture. HUGE!! I haven’t been able to get him to touch any kid of writing instrument for months and here in this week he has made amazing progress. All of them have done amazing with their writing skills and reading comprehension.

I am looking forward to this year.

We like to have a lot of variety in our curriculum so we chose SonLight which incorporates a large diversity of reading material. They are also a great guide, not to be used as the only thing for your homeschooling. They encourage parents to be involved and be creative. I really like the fact that their goal is to help equip the children to be learners not indoctrinate them  with theology. I want my children to learn to think for themselves and love diversity.

I love the article they wrote entitled “27 Reasons Not To Buy from Sonlight” http://www.sonlight.com/not-to-buy.html

We are using many other supplements along with Sonlight curriculum for math, art, and music. There are many free things out there and many things not so free. We haven’t coined one particular thing. We are trying different things to see what kind of learner each of our children are.

Here are some books that have been great helps.


Homeschooling the Child with Asperger Syndromehttp://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Child-Asperger-Syndrome-Pyles/dp/1843107619

Autism Life Skills: From Communication and Safety to Self-Esteem and More - 10 Essential AbilitiesEvery Child Needs and Deserves to Learn

http://www.amazon.com/Autism-Life-Skills-Communication-AbilitiesEvery/dp/B001UE7DF0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252087419&sr=1-1

Literacy Centers in Photographs: A Step-by-Step Guide in Photos That Shows How to Organize Literacy Centers, Establish Routines, and Manage Center-Based Learning All Year Long (Teaching Resources)

http://www.amazon.com/Literacy-Centers-Photographs-Step-Step/dp/0545007984/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252087475&sr=1-1

The Organized Teacher: A Hands-On Guide to Setting Up and Running a Terrific Classroom

http://www.amazon.com/Organized-Teacher-Hands-Terrific-Classroom/dp/0071457070/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252087519&sr=1-3

Teaching Effective Classroom Routines

http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Effective-Classroom-Routines-Deborah/dp/0439513804/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252087519&sr=1-1

What Are the Other Kids Doing While You Teach Small Groups?

http://www.amazon.com/Other-Doing-While-Teach-Groups/dp/1574712934/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252087676&sr=1-1

http://www.kumonbooks.com/home/index.aspx

Here is a link about the Kumon method. http://www.kumon.com/about/default.asp?language=USA

We do not go to a center but we do use the workbooks and think they are great.

We use Learning Games manuals The ABECEDARIAN Curriculum. They do better at explaining then myself, here is their link. http://www.mindnurture.com/

There are excellent workbooks that I find at Target all the time for a $1.00 or $2.00. The kids love to work on them in their free time they call it coloring. They do color too.

Well that is a pretty hardy list but mix and matching helps me and them not get bored.

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