Mind Retrofit

Archive for August 25th, 2009

This month has been extremely full of activitity. I have been preparing for the school year. I have cleared out our front rooms and made them into school rooms. I have been going through curriculum and preparing for our new schedule. We are all very excited about starting this new year. David has been working a lot and I have not had any time for a break. I am feeling the effects of not being able to write.

My mind just races.

When I do not take the time to write I begin to find other ways to stim. Such as researching things I really should not be researching. My “special interest” is people. I have always had an obsession with the paranormal and prophets. When coming into to Christianity I found floodgates of people to research. There is no shortage of self proclaimed prophets and people claiming powers from God. Thanks to Google it only takes me a few minutes to look these people up then I can get back to what I was doing, just a quick break.

I get sucked in!

I found myself yesterday looking up people I knew I shouldn’t. I knew I would get side tracked. I knew I would get angry. It felt like I just HAD to have a fix.  So indeed I found people who were saying and doing crazy things. I found people claiming one thing but living a life completely contrary to what they were preaching. I read emails from people that I knew were going to upset me. A video was sent out about how we need to “anguish”. If we are not in anguish then we are not doing God’s true work. This video is from the same man who states that the U.S. is going to be judged and we are all going to be shocked at the horrible things God is going to do to us because of our country’s sin.

I got news for him, our “sin” is no different than it was a 100 years ago, a billion years ago!

I could go on and on but I need to stop. My mind is full of ammunition about these many people claiming to be from God while robbing the world. I have studied these people, serial killers, and obsessed about how people murder and what gets them to that point.  Not only Christian “prophets”  but countless others as well. Why? I try not to do it. I try to find something else to consume my mind. However when I am under stress this is what I go back to. My tried and true. It helps me focus and helps my brain calm.

I wish I could find something more pleasant to obsess about.

I do think it is for a reason though. I do think I am to write about it, talk about it, get others thinking about it. We should question what people are doing and saying not in a paranoid way but in a healthy skeptical way. Only from the motive of not becoming a blind sheep who looses their mind and believes everything they read or hear. I need to be productive somehow with all of this.

I think this proves to me that I need to make sure I carve out time to write.

This quote comes to mind:

“My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery – always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud. And why? What’s this passion for?”
Virginia Woolf