A couple of weeks ago we went to the museum for the first time. It was on a Sat. after getting everything ready and piling into the car with three young ones we finally made it at around 11 am. We prepared as much as possible (we had an adult per child). There was really no way of knowing how Daniel would respond. So I got myself mentally ready for screaming, kicking, throwing, spinning, and all the other things that I could think of that he might do. I tried to keep myself at peace and focus on all of us having a good time. I tried.

 I was pleasantly surprised.

 We walked in and there was a huge face sideways as an entrance and Daniel went running to it. However that exhibit was very crowded so we went to the whale’s exhibit instead. All of us were looking around and checking it out. There was so much to see. The lighting was dark, the whale noises were loud, kids were running all over the place, parents were talking and crowding in. I wanted out of there as soon as possible. We went to another exhibit and there was something that spins. I thought we would not be able to get Daniel away from there, but he did great. I told him I would count to 10 and then we would go and it worked!

 The dinosaurs were next!

 I geared myself up for the moving dinosaurs that roared as well. It turned out that Daniel loved them. He wanted to stay and watch them. The kids had so much fun watching the dinosaurs and pointing them out. They said “we have that one at home and that one”. It was great for them. I was taking pictures so that was added to the sensory mix as well.

 Then I lost David and Daniel.

 Now keep in mind everyone else is having a great time, I am trying. We go into a maze of history and at some point I cannot find David and Daniel. I start to panic. I am holding Ariel’s little hand and dragging her in a frenzy state. Mom has Joshua and she is trying to keep up. I look at her and say “I can’t find them!” She says “I am sure David can handle it”. I say “not if Daniel is freaking out, he doesn’t know what to do!” So she calmly tells me to go look for them as she sits with Ariel and Joshua and waits.

 I am running all around the museum, which is quite small by the way so it was only a few seconds before I found them. In that few seconds I had a serial killer taking David and tying him up somewhere in the museum and running off with Daniel. Daniel not being able to speak or understand what is going on is taken, never to be found again and I am devastated. Then down the stairs I see them walking and laughing. I run up to David and say “Where did you go? I couldn’t find you?” He said we have been right here and that Daniel really enjoyed this part and didn’t want to leave. David said “did you have us murdered or something?” He knows me too well.

 Well I do have to be on guard for anything.

 In the midst of all of that we had a great time. I controlled myself and did very well. I do get focused like that and start thinking those things when I feel out of control. My sensory issues were out of control and my social anxiety was taking its toll. I stayed calm except for the moment with my mom, but I did well with the kids and other people. The funny thing is this is the way I stim. I get fixated on something and come up with stories where I am going to have to save someone or I imagine what I am going to do after the tragic or amazing event. They can be good or bad. I have gotten a lot better at not doing that but this was a new situation with a lot of noise, people, lights, and excitement.

 Daniel on the other hand did great. After we went home we all had an amazing day. Daniel stayed in the living room with us for most of the day. He talked to me and played with Ariel and Joshua. He needed his quiet time later that day. The next day we went to church and he did great and we had another wonderful day. He interacted with us throughout the whole day up into the evening and then had a little quiet time. There were no meltdowns, except for mine, and he was happy.

 We are having more and more of these days and I am so excited to have him be more and more involved with our daily lives. Let’s hope that I can do better. I will work on not getting myself into frenzy and just enjoy the moment.

 Maybe I should think of  a better stim.

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