Mind Retrofit

I am just blown away with some of the things that my children say. At times it can be quite scary when I hear my very own words coming back at me. I have this moment of “oh my, they really are listening”. The last week has been a surprise,  just when I get to the point of thinking Daniel isn’t going to speak he does.

He seems to have a limited vocabulary and seems to not comprehend things. It is not true, he “uses” a limited vocabulary but has all of things in his head that he doesn’t share. Sometimes I hear him in the other room playing and he is talking and laughing but I have no idea what he is saying. The other day he led me to the computer and said “computer”. We go in to turn it on and he looked right at me and said “could you push the button?”. I was in shock. I looked at him and said “of course I can Daniel”.

I thought to myself did I really just hear that?

He has been saying other things like “want baba water in it”, “want a carnation”, “want to go in there”. I told him the other day that he needed to play with Ariel and Joshua. He tried all day but they get so loud that he can’t take it. Later that evening though, he came in with us and started playing with them and had a great time. I asked him “are you playing with Ariel and Joshua?” He looked at them smiled and said “playing Ariel and Joshua”.

It was a very happy moment.

There is a point that I reach where I feel like nothing is going to change. I feel like I am not doing enough. I feel like Daniel may never get to a point where he is talking, playing, eating, or learning the way that seems normal. Then he does something to show me that what I am feeling isn’t true. I sometimes just want it to hurry up and happen. Certain days are just too hard. However, if I really evaluate all of the days in this past year the good out weigh the bad. He doesn’t have as many meltdowns, he isn’t as violent, he plays and acknowledges us.

He is making eye contact when speaking to me.

Daniel is speaking more than he has before. He has connected with the make believe world a little bit in. He tells me what he wants, whether a toy, food, or drink. He is able to dress himself sometimes. He can color, when he feels like it. He brings me books to read to him and he sits through the whole story. He points to the pictures and asks about the characters faces. He wants to know what emotion they are showing. There are many more things but I need these few so I can go back and look and not forget. There was a day when I felt like these things were impossible.

I have hope.