A Rant to God
“I am so angry and I don’t want to say why. But I have to get it out it is driving me crazy. God these people, what they do in the name of love. How can they say they love? I have tried to reason and go through my head over and over again. I continue to want to think the best. I can’t. I turn on the TV they are there telling people to get out of debt give them money. The churches we have been in the last few years demanding our loyalty to them. If we do not follow them or the next big “Christian fad” then we don’t hear from you. WHAT? Are you serious? I am supposed to listen to a person who is controlling and manipulating people to get my money or to make them feel better? Disillusionment. I have been swindled. They tried to take my mind and make me believe that I am not worthy unless I believe them. I am not capable of reading the Bible and know what it means? Hello! They don’t even know what it means half the time. How can I believe a person who gossips, slanders, lies, and isn’t even pretending trying to be nice?
God these are your people? I cannot not even function anymore. So much damage has been done to my brain that I have to do a major renewal. I have to rethink everything I have been taught about you. They tell me I don’t know you that I am not able to hear you clearly. Yet, before I got there I heard you plainly and I listened. Sometimes I did what you said sometimes I didn’t. But now how do I know it’s you? I’ll tell you how, I know you. God I know you. I know who you are. You are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. You are love. You said we know people by their fruit. Let me have good fruit. Take care of all of this damage that I have built up over the past years in church. Lord You know what is good for me. Make good in my life. I am done with holding on to the past. Set my feet on my future. Thank you God thank you for this life, this joy, this moment with you. I love you Lord. You have shown me life”.
